THOUGHT 4 THE WEEK
- Emotiveness (control of self) ; and,
- Assertiveness (control of others).
The Cool / Teller
[LOW EMOTIVE / HIGH ASSERTIVE]
Dominant (Marston/Clarke)
Choleric (Hippocrates)
Power (Donald T Simpson)
Driver (Merrill/Reid)
Competing (Thomas/Kilman)
Win/Lose (Jay Hall)
Controlling/Taking (Stuart Atkinson)
Dominant/Hostile (Robert E Lefton)
*****
The Warm / Teller
[HIGH EMOTIVE / HIGH ASSERTIVE]
Influencing (Marston/Clarke)
Sanguine (Hippocrates)
Integration (Donald T Simpson)
Expressive (Merrill/Reid)
Collaborating (Thomas/Kilman)
Win/Win (Jay Hall)
Adapting/Dealing (Stuart Atkinson)
Dominant/Warm (Robert E Lefton)
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email info@uetp.co.uk
Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!
Last week we suggested that Concerts, and Conventions attract a predominance of one type of personality that relates to the particular performer. We also explored how to capture the attention of Assertive Personalities within a mixed audience.
Today, I assume once again a mixed audience and explore how to capture the attention of Non-assertive Personalities. For this purpose, I shall continue my theme of Highly Effective Interpersonal Skills Awareness.
The Non-assertive Personalities
POINT 1: Both Cool/Asker and Warm/Asker are NON-ASSERTIVE. The first possesses a COMPROMISING attitude believing any solution is based on a balance of probability. The second possesses a SUBMISSIVE attitude believing other people’s needs come first.
Cool/Askers want a speaker to provide sufficient detail or be given the opportunity of obtaining it later through Q&A and/or hard copy and/or links through the Internet. They want to know HOW a speaker knows what they know.
Warm/Askers want a speaker to offer personal assurances. They want to know WHY a speaker cares about them and those they care about.
POINT 2: Non-assertive Personalities may become disappointed and disassociate if they feel let down. So, how do you capture and maintain non-assertive attention?
The answer is: Overview (some) evidences and confirm personal support
Having quickly captured the attention of the assertive personalities at outset (see PART 1), you continue with the Cool/Asker in mind:
‘For those who will undoubtedly want more detail today there is a Q&A session following the presentation! Website links will also be provided.
‘The earliest recorded history of interpersonal skills awareness begins 500 years before Christian era with the Greek Philosopher Physician Hippocrates who noticed his patients shared certain behavioural traits which he isolated into four groupings. He believed such traits were due to medical conditions or ‘humours’ and described them in physiological terms.
‘In an early and mid 20th century follow up to Hippocates work, two questions became apparent that readily identified primary personality from a psychological perspective ~ personality essentially the result of nurturing. Question one concerns control of self or emotiveness. You are emotionally Cool or Warm. Question two concerns control of others or assertiveness. You demand things of others ~ Teller, or you request things or others ~ Asker.
‘Let’s experiment! Take a moment to introduce yourself to the people sitting each side of you. It doesn’t matter if you know them or not.'
[PAUSE FOR 2-MINUTES]
‘OK! Let’s mentally revisit your neighbour’s responses, asking yourself the following two questions about them:
- Q1: how did they display their feelings towards you?
- Q2: did they attempt to control the encounter?
‘You now have two answers on two dimensions: Emotionally Cool or emotional Warm. And, Teller or Asker. If you haven’t got a clue, don’t worry. It can take a little practice.'
You conclude your opening remarks with the Warm/Asker in mind.
‘Research states that most relationships are not damaged by the content of a conversation, but through a clash of personalities ~ the delivery of that content. People are more agreeable when they are treated the way we want to be treated. The material I will share with you today reassures the other party that you care enough to want to try to understand them. It builds and maintains early and positive relationships. Let us take a look at more visuals … ‘
POINT 3: Using words like reassure, care, relationships appeal to the Warm/Asker.
In Conclusion
This opening to a presentation is critical to each primary personality and may be supported with a visual aid or two designed to satisfy, in order of low to high patience, the Cool/Teller; the Warm/Teller; the Cool/Asker; and, the Warm/Asker.
Now each of the four primary personalities are paying attention, it is time to add appropriate content.
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email info@uetp.co.uk
Complicated IS East! Simple IS Hard!
When any audience is targeted on a specific theme, such as a concert, or professional convention it is probable that one of the four primary personalities will dominate.
For example, a Michael Bublé concert will mostly attract the low assertive, high emotive Warm/Askers whereas the annual accountant’s convention will mostly attract the low assertive, low emotive Cool/Askers.
The following observations apply to a mixed personality audience, and I have chosen for my theme my own discipline of Highly Effective Interpersonal Skills Awareness.
The Assertive Personalities
This BLOG focuses on quickly attracting the attention of the two Assertive Personalities, Cool/Teller and Warm/Teller, who typically make up 40% of the tested population, and who represent the least patient of the four Primary Personalities.
POINT 1: Both Cool/Teller and Warm/Teller are ASSERTIVE. The first possessing a highly COMPETITIVE attitude meaning they want to win at just about everything. The second possessing a highly COLLABORATIVE attitude meaning they want everyone to win, but with the proviso it's what they want to do.
Cool/Tellers want a speaker to begin with the end in mind. They want to know WHAT is the expected outcome. They want to know WHAT is in it for them or their business?
Warm/Tellers want a speaker to remain proactive and to involve them from the outset. They want to know WHO has benefited from your ideas. They want to know WHO is using your services for greater gain, now?
POINT 2: Assertive Personalities are easily distracted! They can disconnect when not captivated! So, how do you capture and maintain their attention?
The answer is: Introduce your subject before you introduce yourself!
You open with the Cool/Teller in mind.
‘Everyone who assimilates and applies this extraordinary material, will discover that giving away control, actually returns greater control. (pause) By learning how to accommodate the way someone wants you to behave with them, you will have gained their respect.’
Short, sharp, to the point! You have peaked the Cool/Tellers curiosity!
You continue with the Warm/Teller in mind.
‘As a consequence, (pause) others will feel more comfortable being with you because they perceive you as striving to understand them. (pause) The potential outcome of such a mutually beneficial relationship is higher financial and emotional reward for you both!’
POINT 3: Using the words mutually beneficial appeals to the collaborative Warm/Teller. They too are now paying attention. It’s time to inject a little wry humour.
‘As you were shown to your seats today, I acted as one of the ushers. Thanks for the tips, by the way. (pause) Seriously, as I mingled with you, I listened to your words and use of voice-tone. I watched your body language and your social interactivity ~ or lack of it ~ with complete strangers. On a one-on-one basis, these observations allow me to help you feel comfortable in my presence.’
Now, you introduce yourself.
‘I am Jay Angeletta, and for more than 30-years I’ve coached executives, line-mangers, recruiters, trainers and salespeople to hone interpersonal skills awareness. What does that mean? (pause) Honing interpersonal skills awareness means helping individuals get along better with more people, more often than not. (pause) It means seeing the bottom-line grow as they take more market share. (pause) It means seeing reputations enhanced as more people say good things about them. (pause) It means establishing long-term customer relationships for future business’.
‘Some of you may be thinking, “Sounds like a con-job to me!” And you would be right, and you would be wrong. (pause) Whereas my method of coaching interpersonal skills awareness allows anyone instant access to confident relationships, it is the personal motivation of my practitioners that differs from the dishonest one’s. (pause) Every conman Takes! (pause) My practitioners Give!’
The Cool/Teller and Warm/Teller in my audience are now willing to hear what I have to say!
Next week’s BLOG explores the rather more patient Cool/Asker and Warm/Asker non-assertive personalities, who typically make up the remaining 60% of the tested population.
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email info@uetp.co.uk
Complicated IS East! Simple IS Hard!
Over the past few weeks we have explored our R+D+A+S decision-making model. This BLOG explores cementing that relationship using the written word under the heading S for SUPPORT.
Though the construction of highly effective group presentations as well as the written word share application, this BLOG concerns itself with the written word i.e. text, email and letter.
Few writers consciously consider the personality of their reader viz. COOL/TELLER; WARM/TELLER; COOL/ASKER; and, WARM ASKER. Consequently, research reveals a whopping 99% of unsolicited written communications tend to be ignored!
Though it is an advantage to perceive the personality of your reader, the power behind the following paragraph sequencing is that you can write to unknown readers, with greater effect, too!
Recap
The four Primary Personalities are identified by laying two dimensions at right angles to each other. The vertical dimension represents Assertiveness, meaning the perceived intention of someone to control the thoughts and actions of others; and, the horizontal dimension represents Emotiveness, meaning the perceived intention to control one’s own thoughts and actions when with others.
- Assertive personalities are proactive. They want to get on with things immediately. Whilst, non-assertive personalities are far less in a hurry.
- Emotive personalities are ruled by their heart. They ‘feel’ things. Whilst, non-emotive personalities are ruled by their head. They ‘think’ things.
With the above in mind, the written word may be structured to appeal to all four personalities within the same correspondence. This means you can format a template to be edited with specific information pertaining to an individual reader.
The following sequence and content headings aims to accommodate all primary personalities:
Your Opening Paragraph ~ the least patient and most demanding personality is the Cool / Teller who is high assertive and low emotive. The Cool / Tellers attention span is targeted and needs to be captured quickly. The use of a bold strapline together with a bold postscript captures the Cool / Tellers tendency to clip and crop a letter with their eyes. Remember, the Cool / Teller is interested in results or WHAT is in it for them, so this paragraph should get to the point quickly.
Your Second Paragraph ~ needs to accommodate the interactive Warm / Teller who is high assertive and high emotive. They want to enjoy the experience and, knowing WHO else has benefited from your idea, product or service tends to win them over. With prior permission, you can name an intermediary or two. Offering an anecdote is also an effective way to amuse the Warm / Teller.
Your Third Paragraph ~ needs to accommodate the cautious Cool / Asker who is low assertive and low emotive. The Cool / Teller wants the pros and cons, the ins and outs of the entire process. Overview HOW your idea, product or service works. This paragraph will be the longest of the four, however, rather than writing an essay that will disenfranchise high assertive personalities, save deep detail, facts and figures for attachments and links.
Your Final Paragraph ~ needs to accommodate the most patient of all the personalities, the supportive Warm / Asker, who is low assertive and high emotive. The Warm / Asker needs constant reassurance. They need to feel you care. They need to know WHY your idea, product or service will work for them as well as those they care about. With prior permission, mention others they know, which may include families, friends, employees, work colleagues and customers.
In-A-Nutshell
In the following order, strive to satisfy the WHAT, the WHO, the HOW, and the WHY.
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email info@uetp.co.uk
Next week we shall explore using Primary Personality to effectively present to a live audience.
Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!
NOTE: There is no BLOG next week. Setting out the EFFECTIVE WRITTEN WORD is the subject of our next four BLOGs commencing w/e 24th July.
In context, SUPPORT is the concluding stage of our four part, highly effective decision-making process.
SUPPORT is essential to maintain a trustworthy relationship through effective planning and efficient organising.
SUPPORT is vital in all growing commercial endeavours but, equally applies in domestic and social situations.
But let’s recap, first …
Before you will be permitted to enter the SUPPORT stage of decision-making with another, you must demonstrate a Socratic ADVOCATE stage, which means helping others verbalise what they know about various solutions to their agreed problems.
And, before you will be permitted to enter the ADVOCATE stage of decision-making with them, you must demonstrate a Socratic DISCOVER stage, which means helping others visualise and agree what is important to them, right now.
But the entire process stalls unless you RELATE with them from the outset, which means consciously role-shifting to accommodate the way they do things i.e. their Primary Personality.
Doing The Right Thing, Right = SUPPORT
Doing The Right Thing means Effective Planning. Doing the Thing Right means Efficient Organising.
Once you have helped someone discover and agree their own problems and all possible solutions to resolve them your role is to Plan and Organise yourself so you remain a beneficial asset to them.
Follow-up & Communication
It’s a sad reality that, in the western world, once we trust someone, that supposed confidant may unwittingly damage the relationship by becoming less accessible. Ask yourself how many people are always there for you and you'll get the picture.
Lack of accessability happens all to often in commerce when a satisfied customer has parted with their money and rarely hears from that business again. Or, they are digitally bombarded with every insincere ‘limited offer’ under the sun.
R+D+A+S
Applying the first three essential stages of highly effective decision-making, RELATE, DISCOVER, ADVOCATE you have established a mutually beneficial relationship. But that relationship is in jeopardy without meaningful Planning and Organising in SUPPORT of the others decisions.
Follow-up, the Antidote to Buyers-Remorse
Let's assume, when using Socratic Questioning during the DISCOVERY & ADVOCATE stages, someone agreed they had more than one problem/situation to fix. You have already helped them identify and resolve ~ for themselves ~ their most important problem.
Having agreed they want to fix more than one problem, it is essential to plan your follow-up with a supporting text/email/letter confirming the agreed actions they have just taken, and referencing future actions they have yet to take.
But structuring your written word requires special attention to their Primary Personality.
Written Communication
Each of the four Primary Personalities responds best to the written word when their particular behaviour is accommodated. This is the subject we shall begin to address in our next paper.
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email info@uetp.co,uk
Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!
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