THOUGHT 4 THE WEEK
This is the last in the current T4TWs that takes a look at the best way to accommodate each of the primary personalities.
Today, we look at how the WARM/ASKER (4-in-10 people) needs to accommodate each of the other three personalities.
A WARM/ASKER encounters a WARM/TELLER (3-in-10 people) ~ both share high emotiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: you both want to get to know each other, personally
- Possible clashes: the W/A is intimidated by pushiness. The W/T will expect everyone to have an opinion on just about anything
- Accommodation: the W/A needs to be prepared to 'argue'. Don't worry, you will do so in a personable way
- For example: listen carefully to what the W/T is rambling on about and contribute to the conversation. Show real interest in the W/Ts successes
A WARM/ASKER encounters a COOL/ASKER (2-in-10 people) ~ both share low assertiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: neither of you is pushy
- Possible clashes: whereas the W/A wants to find out about ‘who’ is important in everybody's life, the C/A guards personal stuff until they have a reason to reveal it
- Accommodation: the W/A must delay making friends until the C/A is comfortable they can trust your competence at … whatever
- For example: keep your conversation task orientated. Focus on things rather than relationships
A WARM/ASKER encounters a COOL/TELLER (1-in-10 people) ~ your greatest challenge!
- Helpful traits in common: none at all!
- Possible clashes: whereas the W/A wants to be friendly, the C/T wants to get to the point and stick to it
- Accommodation: the W/As need for friendship must be deferred until the C/T thinks they have something to contribute
- For example: the W/A must be attentive to C/T thoughts and ideas. You can 'argue' when there is substance to argue about
To explore hosting your dedicated in-house workshop, email john@uetp.co.uk or call 0044 7 900 251 258.
During the past few weeks, we have looked at how each primary personality needs to accommodate someone just like themselves, and how the two assertive personalities need to accommodate each of the other three personalities.
Today, we look at how the COOL/ASKER (2-in-10 people) needs to accommodate the other three personalities for a mutually beneficial outcome.
A COOL/ASKER encounters a WARM/ASKER (4-in-10 people) ~ both share low assertiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: both accept sacrifice is required to accomplish something
- Possible clashes: whereas the C/A wants to focus on HOW things work, the W/A wants to focus on WHO will benefit. If offended, the W/A will probably not openly say so, but won’t return future contact
- Accommodation: the C/A needs be a friend, before an analyst. Prioritise the importance of the people the W/A cares about
- For example: the C/A must sincerely ask about the important relationships in the life of the W/A
A COOL/ASKER encounters a COOL/TELLER (1-in-10 people) ~ both share low emotiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: both put tasks before people
- Possible clashes: whilst the C/A wants to explore all possible solutions before seeking any solution, the C/T wants to get to a solution quickly ~ even if it is not the best one right now
- Accommodation: the C/A will naturally focus on the detail but must quickly discover and agree what the C/T thinks the problem is and what they think might be the solution. Formulate a working agenda together
- For example: ask what the C/T has on their mind and what ~ if anything ~ they want do about it (which may be nothing)
A COOL/ASKER encounters a WARM/TELLER (3-in-10 people) ~ your greatest challenge!
- Helpful traits in common: none at all!
- Possible clashes: whilst the C/A wants to demonstrate they are technically competent, the W/T wants a laugh and a giggle
- Accommodation: the C/A needs to lighten-up and be prepared for lots of distraction and interruption
- For example: keep your desire to start every conversation with pen and paper in check. The W/T will let you know when they are ready to get down to the serious stuff
In the next BLOG, we shall explore a WARM/ASKER meeting each of the other primary personalities.
For a greater insight into this empowering material, email john@uetp.co.uk or call 0044 7 900 251 258.
Last weeks BLOG looked at what simple observations and courtesies the COOL/TELLER should extend to relate (accommodate) each of the other three primary personalities.
This BLOG looks at what simple observations and courtesies the WARM/TELLER (3-in-10 people) should extend for the best possible mutually beneficial outcomes with the other three PPs.
A WARM/TELLER encounters a COOL/TELLER (1-in-10 people) ~ both share high assertiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: you both are results orientated
- Possible clashes: whilst the W/T wants to have some fun whilst striving to achieve, the C/T wants to get things done, first
- Accommodation: the W/T must seek first to understand where the C/T is coming from and demonstrate they are capable of 'delivering' what is wanted
- For example: asking pertinent questions will flesh-out a ‘working agenda’ and will settle the mind of the C/T that you are competent
A WARM/TELLER encounters a WARM/ASKER (4-in-10 people) ~ both share high emotiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: you both want to get to know each other, personally
- Possible clashes: if the W/T remains in-your-face, the W/A may become intimidated. The W/A will probably not openly object, but won’t return any future contact either
- Accommodation: the W/T must calm down - quite a lot - and strive to become friends, first
- For example: the W/T can remain their natural light-hearted self, but must tone down anecdotes and funny stories, positively avoiding slagging others off. Ask W/As about who and what they care about
A WARM/TELLER encounters a COOL/ASKER (2-in-10 people) ~ your greatest challenge!
- Helpful traits in common: none at all!
- Possible clashes: whereas the W/T wants a laugh and a giggle, the C/A wants to know they are technically competent to explore different procedures to possible solutions
- Accommodation: the W/T must remain emotionally detached by focusing on the tasks at hand. Any hint of a ‘friendship’ might develop after the W/T has proved themselves
- For example: remain procedural, keeping the C/A involved through questions about what wants to be explored and how
In the next BLOG, we shall explore a COOL/ASKER meeting each of the other primary personalities.
For a greater insight into this empowering material, email john@uetp.co.uk or call 0044 7 900 251 258.
For today and over the next two T4TWs we shall overview how each Primary Personality needs to accommodate each of the other PPs for the best possible chance of a mutually beneficial outcome.
Today we shall start with how the COOL/TELLER (1-in-10 people) must accommodate others …
A COOL/TELLER encounters a WARM/TELLER (3-in-10 people) ~ both share high assertiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: each believes they know their own mind. Obtaining a 'result' is mutually beneficial
- Possible clashes: whilst the C/T wants to stick to the point, the W/T wants to have some fun along the way.
- Accommodation: the C/T must play to the W/T sense of fun whilst allowing them time to be late (for almost everything), time to take/make a mobile phone call, and time to wander off the subject. The C/T needs to join in with W/T stories and anecdotes
- For example: don’t get down-to-business too quickly, and actively listen to them: even recall a few of your own situations about “someone who shall remain nameless”
A COOL/TELLER encounters a COOL/ASKER (2-in-10 people) ~ both share low emotiveness!
- Helpful traits in common: each is task orientated meaning they put things before people
- Possible clashes: whereas the C/T wants to get to the end solution, the C/A wants to explore and explore and explore the processes to the solution
- Accommodation: compose an agenda that will help keep you both on a schedule towards the accomplishment
- For example: explore several procedures to achieve the task or tasks to be accomplished. Agree a possibly, maybe, perhaps timeline for the outcome
A COOL/TELLER encounters a WARM/ASKER (4-in-10 people) ~ your greatest challenge!
- Helpful traits in common: none at all!
- Possible clashes: if the C/T maintains their natural drive to get down to business, the W/A will probably not object but won't return your future contacts either
- Accommodation: become a W/A friend before ‘chatting’ about what needs to be done and why
- For example: sincerely ask after their family, their close friends, even their dog. Spend time getting to know them, and who and what they care about
In the next T4TW, we shall explore a WARM/TELLER meeting each of the other primary personalities.
For a greater insight into this empowering material, email john@uetp.co.uk or call 0044 7 900 251 258
If you’ve been pondering the past few BLOGs, you will have identified yourself predominantly as a:
- COOL/TELLER
- COOL/ASKER
- WARM/TELLER
- WARM/ASKER
Our Emotional & Financial Wellbeing
More relationships fail to start or end abruptly due to a clash of personalities than for any other reason. But it doesn’t have to be like that!
Each of us possesses predominant strengths as well as limitations that tend to emerge habitually in most situations and especially when we are relaxed (no need to behave differently) or when we are stressed (no time to behave differently)
Each of the four 'pure' personalities shares common traits with someone just like them. However, each has two neighbouring personalities with little in common, as well as a diametrically opposed personality with nothing in common at all.
The Three Encounters
There are three encounters which can impact positively or negatively on our emotional and financial wellbeing:
- The face2Face encounter ~ including private and small gatherings
- The group presentation ~ including small and large audiences, and
- The written word ~ including emails, letters, blogs and media
NOTE: This BLOG opens the first of several discussions for the next few weeks with....
The Face2Face Encounter
Remember, you predominantly possess ONE of the FOUR primary personalities. The next person you meet could be just like you!
Before anyone can effectively accommodate another personality, they need to recognise where that person is coming from, which has been the essence of recent BLOGs [refresh your understanding by re-reading them].
The COOL/TELLER encounters another COOL/TELLER (about 1-in-10 people)
- Helpful traits in common: each will want to quickly get down to the purpose of the meeting.
- Possible clashes: this is a Competitive relationship (psychologically: I must Win so you must Lose).
- Accommodation: remain competitive but allow the other C/T to win more often by offering alternative positive solutions for them to make decisions.
- For example: offering a take-it-or-leave-it choice has a 50/50 chance of succeeding. Offering alternatives that achieve the end result have a higher probability of success.
The COOL/ASKER encounters another COOL/ASKER (about 2-in-10 people)
- Helpful traits in common: each will want to follow clearly defined procedures.
- Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Compromise (psychologically: we will both Lose/Sacrifice something). Each believes there is no single solution to any particular problem, which can be costly in time and money.
- Accommodation: explore all propositions and, when you need to disagree, do so agreeably.
- For example: a procedure is raised that has flaws. Be prepared to offer remedial suggestions that build upon the original.
The WARM/TELLER encounters another WARM/TELLER (about 3-in-10 people)
- Helpful traits in common: you’ll be having such a laugh you may forget why you got together in the first place.
- Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Collaboration (psychologically: I Win but You can Win too). Joint winning can end up joint losing if the original goal has been mislaid.
- Accommodation: seek for and use genuine compliment for the successes of the other. Have a clear objective in mind allowing the other W/T to feel centre-stage.
- For example: have a laugh and a giggle around the things that need to be accomplished.
The WARM/ASKER encounters another WARM/ASKER (about 4-in10 people)
- Helpful traits in common: each will start out wanting to become great friends with the other.
- Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Capitulation (psychologically: I will Lose so You can Win). Each is self-sacrificing so this could turn into an, “After you”. “No, after you” situation.
- Accommodation: accept a position of confidant and you will probably be expected to make almost all their decisions.
- For example: be prepared to make even simple decisions for the other W/A
In the next few BLOGs, we will explore how each personality interacts with each of the other primary personalities.
To find out more, call John on 0044 7 900 251 258.
Latest comments