20. Apr, 2018
Whenever I'm asked to write or re-write a sales script for a client, I deliberately pause with a smile until the other has to ask what's so funny. 

After more than 30-years as a Consultant Trainer, I know scripting reflects organizational cultures that have weak or non-existent inter-personal skills training programmes!

THE 4 Psychological Facts:

1. Scripts seldom allow someone to be themselves. There are four Primary Personalities with twelve back up personalities in this world. Imposing one socially styled script upon another fails to allow them to create a positive environment to accommodate the psychological needs of the party to be engaged

2. Scripts require someone to follow someone else's idea of word-play. Such weak ‘training’ is inevitably the result of the outmoded idea of presenting a unique selling point (USP) and seldom, if ever, addresses the needs and wants of the other person nor, indeed, the needs and wants of the person opening the conversation

3. Scripts place immense pressure on the speaker as well as the listener, which inevitably inhibits spontaneity

4. Scripts stifle listening! Far too frequently when watching someone who is not a professional actor recite lines, we become subconsciously so concerned about getting the words right, we fail to focus on and listen to the other person ~ we become robotic

The above facts make the use of scripts, for the intelligent business, totally redundant.

So let me ask you three questions:

1. Do you know how much business you lose because you do not effectively coach inter-personal skills?

2. Do you truly understand the pressure you place on your business, your staff, and your customers because your people do not accommodate primary personality?

3. Do you truly comprehend how scripting turns-off listening?

 If you don’t know the answers to the above questions, it is YOUR organizational responsibility to find out ~ TODAY! 

"To thine own self, be true" [Polonius in Hamlet, Act I, Scene III]

Choose your trainer before you choose your training

Email and open your dialogue.

27. Mar, 2018

Of our four highly effective steps in human interaction we've looked at:


Today, let's look at what happens AFTER the initial conversation, email, text or business transaction is over viz. SUPPORT

Research reveals the BIGGEST let-down in human interaction is lack of follow-through and not surprisingly it is on the list of THE Top-5 failings in business; let me explain ...

  • When you receive friends for a social occasion, how many of them sent you a THANK YOU note?
  • When you ask someone to do something at work or at home, how many of them get it EXACTLY right the first time, without a note?
  • When you made a significant purchase, how many businesses follow up with a CUSTOMER WELCOME ABOARD note?

So what does SUPPORT mean?

  • It means reassuring someone their 'DECISION' remains effective
  • It means reinforcing someone their 'AGREEMENT' remains appropriate
  • It means recognising someones 'PRIMARY PERSONALITY' (back to RELATE) in the written word, too

In simple terms, SUPPORT is the glue that keeps decision-making with YOU intact until the next time decisions need to be made.

  • If you already do it, keep on doing it!
  • If you don't, you may lose 'relationships' to someone who does! 

CALL John on 07900 251258 to talk it through

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

8. Mar, 2018

During the past few weeks, you've been introduced to THE most Effective Communication's Process in the whole World, the Universe and Everything (probably), viz:


This is no shallow claim when considering the hundreds of variations on the above theme being marketed to the less aware at inflated costs: every one of them having roots in this ever-so-simple model!

So far you've been introduced to:

  • RELATING to the TASK Community
  • RELATING to the PEOPLE Community
  • DISCOVERY with its essential partner AGREEMENT

Today, I'll introduce you to ADVOCATE ~ or how to present SOLUTION(s) 'effectively' to each personality who has DISCOVERED  ~ for themselves ~ they have PROBLEM(s) as well as AGREED ~ with themselves ~ it is their personal responsibility to RESOLVE it/them!

So what does it mean to ADVOCATE the SOLUTION? 

Probably the best definition is 'a person who puts a case on someone else's behalf" because this expresses taking THEIR personality into account viz. 'someone else's'!

Whereas all effective SOLUTIONS possess elements of What?, Who?, How? and Why? each of the four Primary Personalities will best respond when YOU EMPHASISE THIER principal interest.


  • The COOL/TELLER (Task Community) ~ principally wants to focus on WHAT your SOLUTION does (and you would be wise to offer a positive alternative, too)
  • The WARM/TELLER (People Community) ~ principally wants to focus on WHO else has benefited from your SOLUTION
  • The COOL/ASKER (Task Community) ~ principally wants to focus on HOW your SOLUTION is put together (process)
  • The WARM/ASKER (People Community) ~ principally wants to focus on WHY your SOLUTION is the best for them and those they care about

For greater insight into how you put the above into practice for greater mutually beneficial outcomes, call John on 07900 251258 or email your interest to

Next week I shall introduce the final essential step in THE process viz. SUPPORTING their decision(s) to act.

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

28. Feb, 2018

So far in thread T4TW172 we've explored the 1st of 4 essential communication elements viz. RELATE (see above headings as a reminder) as well as the first part of the 2nd of 4 essential elements DISCOVERY. Today, we add the second word to Discovery, AGREEMENT.

Read on ... 

Remember, DISCOVERY is that part of the Socratic questioning process that helps someone determine what's important to them. The AGREEMENT part allows them to confirm what they intend to do about it.

The process of DISCOVERY AGREEMENT may be used for any topic whatsoever, however, I shall use Estate Planning as an example.

Having established someone's Primary Personality (see above headings), you open with a Discovery Question, "What is your attitude towards your widow/er paying tax on your estate"? To which they reply, "What do you mean, attitude?"

Now you have to ask another Discovery question, "Will you want your widow/er to pay away some of your estates?" To which they reply, "Of course not!" [*]

Another Discovery question, "Why is that?" To which they reply, "I didn't build my home/business to give it away in tax!"

Another Discovery question, "What do you mean, "Give it away in tax"?" To which they reply, "We earned it! We keep it!"

Another Discovery question, "What if the taxman won't let your widow/er keep all of it?" To which they reply, "I wouldn't like that at all?"

You've now DISCOVERED a PROBLEM exists, it's time to test its importance by seeking the AGREEMENT to it.

You add an Agreement question, "How can it be avoided?" To which they reply, "I guess I could do some estate planning?"

Another Agreement question, "Is that what you want to do?" To which they tell you how important it is when they reply, "Yes, that's what I want to do!"

Never, ever tell someone what their problems are! They don't like it! Never offer a SOLUTION until someone is ready to explore options! The entire process of DISCOVERY allows someone to find out his or her problems for themselves. You told them nothing. Now is the time to AGREE with them that they are responsible for the resolutions.

Complete Promise To Yourself: "I promise never to offer any SOLUTION(S) to someone's PROBLEMS until they have DISCOVERED them for themselves and AGREED they WANT to resolve them!"

This is Discovery Agreement. Next week we shall look at ADVOCATE, the 3rd of the 4 essential elements within the overall process.

[*] should someone show no emotional attachment to a particular 'problem' there is little point in pursuing that one.

Call 07900 251258 during office hours or email to explore further.

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

23. Feb, 2018
If you've been following the BLOGS for the past few weeks you will have explored the vital importance of how to establish a mutually beneficial relationship by accommodating each of the four Primary Personalities (see the four top-page headings as a reminder). 
Once you have identified someone's Primary Personality you can begin to help them to discover their own concerns by telling them absolutely nothing at all!
This and the next thread will look at how you help someone discover and agree what is important TO THEM. Let's commence with the first component of our two-word heading ~ DISCOVERY [next week we shall look at the second component ~ AGREEMENT].
"I keep six honest serving men, they taught me all I knew. Their names are what? and why? and when? and how? and where? and who?". Rudyard Kipling
More than 2000-years ago, the Greek classical philosopher Socrates recorded the concept of 'self-discovery' using what we know today as soft-fact questioning. Soft-fact questioning is the process of using someone's own thinking to help them 'discover' what is important to themselves, which means you actually TELL THEM nothing at all! 
Think of it this way ~ if I ask when was the last time you disagreed with yourself, you may have difficulty remembering. Yet, you probably disagree with others several-times-a-day, not necessarily because what you are hearing is wrong but, because something consequential was raised you had not previously considered!
When you adopt soft-fact questioning with others, on the other hand, mutual agreement unfolds before you both as you allow an individual to 'Discover' their own concerns ~ and most people do not argue with themselves!
Let's explore 6-simple everyday situations that can arise at work and at home.
1 ~ Your partner says something that is patently wrongRather than make them feel foolish, you ask a soft-fact question, "Why do you say that?"
2 ~ A colleague makes an unreasonable assumptionRather than tell them they are incorrect, you ask a soft-fact question, "What could we assume instead?"
3 ~ A client produces evidence in support of a counter-argument. Rather than contradict it, you ask a soft-fact question, "What do think would happen if we did that?"
4 ~ A family member has a fixed perspectiveRather than argue an opposing view, you ask a soft-fact question, "What are the strengths and weaknesses of (repeat what they said)?"
5 ~ Your teenage son/daughter generalizes on a critical point. Rather than contradict them, you ask a soft-fact question, "What might be the consequences of (repeat what they said)?"
6 ~ Your boss asks a provocative question. Rather than take a defensive stance, you ask a soft-fact question, "Can you let me into your thinking?"
Make This Promise To Yourself [PART I]
"I promise never to offer any solution until someone has discovered their problem(s) for themselves"
To discover more about Soft-fact Questioning, call me on 07900 251 258
Next week we shall add the second essential dimension to DISCOVER, which is the AGREEMENT!
Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!