16. Aug, 2018

[See specific personality response headings]

When a friend asked if he could help me fix the wheel to my trailer, I gratefully explained I needed to remove the tailgate first. On return from my garage, he’d cut the wiring harness and removed the tailgate, which wasn’t at all helpful and had only created additional need for repairs!

Far too many well-meaning people, including professionals, prematurely rush for a quick-fix just because they have a bagful of solutions. They fail to collaborate on what is wanted by the other party going off half-cocked. An appropriate metaphor is ready, fire, aim.

Setting out to help others is always a worthy ambition and those who do so are supposed to receive a satisfaction equal to those being assisted. But as the above story illustrates, being ‘helpful’ without collaborating first often goes wrong.

 So, what must you do to ensure everybody wins when you set out with good intentions?

Former US President Barack Obama said, “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something.” And, doing something or helping someone is an admirable ambition provided it is always applied ~ selflessly ~ for the benefit of the other!

Whereas effective solutions resolve specific problems, most people have no interest in hearing about them unless and until they have discovered and agreed they have a relevant problem and that they want to fix it. NOTE: ‘… until THEY have discovered and agreed …’!

Failing to do this is a bit like trying to teach a pig to sing: it generally doesn’t work and annoys the heck out of the pig!

Notwithstanding human Primary Personality (see above four headings), there is a simple but vital ethos that seeks first to understand the attitudes, feelings and beliefs of the other people, which is highly effective in all professional, workplace, business and domestic situations. That ethos even remains intact if a discovery agreement dictates doing nothing!

The consequence of not discovering and agreeing what needs to be done tends to create a gap between the parties involved leading to disaffection, which can be a moment’s irritation or lasting resentment. Think of a business or domestic feud when no-one can remember its root cause.

How To Obtain Discover Agreement?

Discovery Agreement produces profoundly positive results when everyone feels they are working toward a common outcome. And the opposite when not sought (I did not want my trailer wiring harness cut)

When earnestly sought by every helper/questioner, discovery agreement seals the real work to be done in jointly resolving any given problem. Or, at the very least, saves otherwise wasted time chasing phantom problems.

Explanation Of Terms

Discovery ~ means to obtain answers to relevant *soft-fact questions (contact to find out more) about someone’s existing situation or position when compared to where they would rather be. It requires the questioner to listen *empathically to each answer and follow-on with more pertinent soft-fact questions as necessary until all parties discover what matters to the person with the problem. Only when a problem has been fully understood ~ or discovered ~ by all parties involved does the questioner seek …

Agreement ~ means to confirm the sincere desire of the person with the problem to want to do something about it.


Don't do anything for anyone until they want you to do it! This applies to every situation, large or small, commercial or domestic.   

What’s The Alternative?

Prescribing any solution ~ or fix ~ to an unknown or not agreed problem tends to create animosity between the parties. It is generally perceived as presumptuous, if not offensive, which is precisely the opposite intentions of those wishing to help, guide or council in a professional, workplace, business or domestic situation.

By The Way ~ I repaired my trailer and my friend and I laugh about it, now!

To discover more contact

* empathic listening (also called active listening or reflective listening) is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding and trust. 

6. Aug, 2018

Cynics never contribute!

         Sceptics never create!

                 Doubters never achieve!

SINCE the felonious activities of certain unscrupulous organisations at the root of the global financial meltdown of 2007-8, the UK Governments ‘Start-up Britain’ initiative anticipates new business start-ups for the year 2018 to be well in excess of half-a-million.

Ever increasing numbers of people want to escape the pressures associated with working for a boss and a 2013 US survey returning a verdict that 7-out-of-10 full-time employees ‘hate’ what they do gives credence to the above.

Being an employee has its perks of course; someone else takes care of workplace administration including deducting income tax and settling National Health Insurance (NHI) contributions to satisfy Her Majesties Revenue & Customs (HMRC) and Department of Works and Pensions (DWP). However, an employee is only paid what their ‘job’ is worth, rarely what ‘they’ are worth.

This blog looks at the pros and cons of the three levels of being your own boss, viz:

·        Self-employed Sole-Trader

·        Self-employed Business Proprietor

·        Self-employed Business Entrepreneur

The simple but vital differences between the three propositions of self-employment:

Self-employed Sole-Trader if you don’t want to be at the summons, control or service of another, your initial aim as a sole-trader will be to satisfy ~ or improve ~ your current lifestyle or what’s the point of becoming self-employed? But, not having a boss doesn’t mean you will expend less effort.

On the contrary, a sole-trader still has a ‘job’! The difference is you direct your available time and talents into maintaining a position in your chosen marketplace, administering your business protocols and satisfying HMRC and DWP. Though more freedom may come in due time, you can reasonably expect your early years to demand significantly more than an 8-hour working day over a Monday to Friday week.

TWO PROs: 1) you set your own hours without someone chasing your tail! 2) The Internet offers an opportunity for marketing and business administration not previously available!

TWO CONs: 1) you set your own hours without someone chasing your tail! (Yes, this is deliberate repeated) 2) Sole-trading is a highly demanding occupation!

[for your FREE and confidential ‘Have I Got What It Takes?’ assessment, email]

Self-employed Business Proprietor ~ if you excel at what you do as a sole-trader, there will be increasing demand for your products and services that you won’t satisfy on your own. As you put into practice your desire to select and train others to duplicate what you do, you ‘may’ multiply your individual efforts by achieving leverage. In other words, you add the performance of those you recruit ~ through effective, appropriate and sustained recruitment ~ and man-management.

As you organise yourself ~ or engage the expertise of appropriate consultants ~ and build an effective ‘team’, your profits should increase. Though business maths is never a precise science, you could reasonably expect to equally split each additional employee’s gross production across the three business headings of:

1.    Operating Costs (including their wages)

2.    Taxation

3.    Profits (see Entrepreneur below).

TWO PROs: 1) as profits rise, you could employ/engage more people to expand your business further! 2) you release your time to think about, plan and organise new and improved ways to grow your business!

TWO CONs: 1) if your business does not accumulate a perceived market value you will not have an exit strategy! 2) selecting, recruiting, training and managing demands acquired disciplines!

Self-employed Business Entrepreneur ~ as and when your efforts as a Business Proprietor generate greater and greater profits you must inevitably attract a higher and higher tax bill. One legitimate way to keep more of your hard-won money is to divert excess profits into other operations, which may include other people’s businesses ~ or even registered charities (see In-A-Nutshell below).

Businesses to invest in may include other people’s new start-ups as well as established organisations that require cash and/or expertise to help them raise their profile in their chosen marketplace.

Investing in someone else’s business is always a high-risk tactic requiring in-depth commercial analysis which is still no guarantee you will increase your return on investment (ROI). However, paying away your profits in higher taxes is always a guaranteed loss.

TWO PROs: 1) spreading your spare cash over other commercial operations can be an effective tactic to reduce your risk exposure and tax bill! 2) you have existing executive management in place within another’s business so no need to recruit!

TWO CONs: 1) if you can’t afford to lose your money, you can’t afford to invest in someone else’s business! 2) you have executive management in place within another’s business (Yes, this is deliberately repeated)!   


As reviewed within recent Thought4TheWeek, less than 5% of new business start-ups survive beyond their 10th birthday ~ revisit BLOG May & June. There is a view however, this ‘success’ percentage is dramatically improving as more Internet businesses launch. A counter view claims the accelerating rate of Internet businesses only increases competition.

When people won’t discipline themselves within their chosen self-employed strategy they pay the price often citing lack of support, or lack of money, or lack of time as the reason for their failed adventure. Whilst these may have some validity in some situations, the ultimate resource of all success in business is maintaining ‘the dream’ ~ come what may ~ which may mean starting over and over again. It is the dream that fuels emotional fortitude and sustains your resourcefulness through difficult times.

Remember: Cynics never contribute, Sceptics never create, Doubters never achieve!

To explore your chosen strategy and obtain a FREE and CONFIDENTIAL assessment of your self-employed potential, email or call 044 (0) 7900 251258 ~ this offer closes 31st August.

17. Jul, 2018

If you are at all unsettled in any way with your studies, your work, your business, or an important relationship, this article is for you: 

"Anyone who stops learning is old, whether twenty or eighty. The greatest thing you can do is keep your mind young" Mark Twain (1835-1910)

Knowledge is NOT motivation for learningpeace of mind is! (read this sentence over until its sentiment resonates)

Peace of mind is the prerequisite for obtaining correct knowledge because those who are in conflict with themselves are not at peace. Only peace is the condition of obtaining correct knowledge and this law of learning is not negotiable. Being unhappy is merely the result of a misuse of this law.

If correct learning aims to change what you are becoming. and this is always the purpose of correct learning, you may have to unlearn previous incorrect learning. This is why you must become a happy learner and why your motivation for learning must be peace. 

The Law of Learning

By opposing the law of learning, you cannot obtain correct knowledge, yet you may regard this law as not wholly desirable. If you do but want to obtain correct knowledge, you must simply surrender what is slowing down or preventing you from learning, and that is your *ego!

All ego distraction interferes with learning, but ego has no power of itself. It only possesses the power you give it. So, every response from your ego is a call to war, and war can never be at peace!

The Peace of Opposition

If the outcome of what you think you know is making you unhappy and if you want a different outcome, you must change your personal learning curriculum. 

You must learn those whom you perceive as opponents are actually part of your peace, which you forsake each time you attack them. You must unlearn past learning that taught you to do this, simply because attacking never makes you happy. On this basis alone you should question your *ego-centric responses as you desire peace. 

To discover how email

* Egocentrism is the inability to understand or assume any perspective other than your own.

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

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12. Jul, 2018

Progress in any endeavour is rarely linear, and it's perfectly OK to feel like you are riding a roller-coaster on your journey towards your success provided, that is, your ups and downs are in the ascendency. 

The following 5 simple but profound DON'Ts are not negotiable to sustained success:

1. DON'T dwell with negative people ~ should you find yourself in the company of those who complain and blame everyone else, politely walk away at the earliest opportunity. To grow into that which you want to become, make a decision to invest your precious time only with people who have achieved what you want, or those who know how to get you there. And, find at least two others who want to be just like you are, right now. Being mentored by those who know and do, and being a mentor to those who want to know and do, allows you to receive, practice and pass on appropriate, effective and sustainable skills. In giving, you receive. 

2. DON'T dwell on disappointed ~ disappointment is a natural but wholly negative emotion. Left un-disciplined, it will only corrupt your vital productive-stress (cooking on gas) into destructive-stress (burn-out and rust-out). All failings is success turned inside out. The vital ingredient to personal growth is to know what not to do whilst remaining a happy learner. And, learning to unlearn is critical to becoming the best you can become. When you were at school you were not encouraged to think for yourself. Now you can think for yourself, accept nothing and believe no one unless you confirm everything! 

3. DON'T dwell in the past ~ depression may be defined as living too much in the past, whilst anxiety may be defined as living too much in the future. Neither serves any useful purpose when left unchecked; one's history can never be changed; and, one's future is always uncertain. It has been reported those born since 1990 suffer more depression or more anxiety than any previous generations. This is thought to be due, in no small part, to excessive use of smart devices, including video gaming, coupled with low social interaction. Living in the moment, rather than for the moment, whilst associating with uplifting people will stimulate your creativity. Hi-tech will never replace high-touch!

4. DON'T dwell on the problem ~ once you know what your problem is, focus only on resolving it! Revisiting problems over and over is self-destructive and will stifle your creativity. If you haven't a clue how to fix a problem, involve others (see item 1 above) who have the experience of what to think and what to do when faced with your problem. And, if you don't know anyone, ask around! A problem only remains a problem without a solution!

5. DON'T say "Yes" to everyone ~ doing what needs to be done when it needs to be done means keeping your eye on your end-game. This means saying 'No' sometimes. Saying 'No' can be done with dignity, courtesy and politeness but saying 'No' is vital to what is important to your accomplishments. Important things should never become urgent and the leading cause of important things becoming urgent is taking on more than can be accomplished in the time available. The late Stephen R. Covey taught we must each win our private victory before we can begin to win any public victory. Be proactive, begin with the end in mind and put first things first.

In-A-Nutshell: To Know and not to do is not to know! 

Open dialogue with me via about you becoming a better you.

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

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4. Jul, 2018

Thanks to everyone who requested one of my two free pdf workbooks. 

Do drop me a line when you've had a chance to put the principles into practice and watch your relationships and income blossom.

When was the last time you were on the receiving end of, "Sorry, we're very busy right now"

How did that howler make you feel? 

  • Important? 
  • A nuisance? 

Certain popular phrases (howlers) are an instant turn-off that kills relationships before they've even begun yet I guarantee you and your people use them without compunction.

If your emotional or financial wellbeing relies on getting along with more people, more often, you'd better train your own people to avoid 'despised phrases' like the proverbial plague!

By the way, if your telephone answering message says something like, "Sorry, but all our advisers are busy right now .....". What the caller probably heard is you are understaffed.

If you want to know the top 10 despised phrases to consign to the scrap-heap, and what to replace them with that actually Makes Me Feel Important, email

"Trust me" Ouch, that's another one that smarts!

Complicated Is Easy! Simple Is Hard!

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