7. Dec, 2016
Be The Last To Speak
Listening puts you in the shoes of the other person! It's the difference between inspired and annoying conversation and few people are good at it!
The listening person is the opposite of the talking person! Most people talk too much, which accounts for miscommunication, and frustration.
Think of an important conversation you've had within the past 24hrs. If you can only recall the gist of it, you weren't truly listening at the time? Until you have formed the habit of mentally reciting what someone has just said, you are not really listening at all.
Better still, develop the habit of repeating key points to the speaker at the time they are made, asking them to correct you if you haven't quite got it right. And, don't add your input until you fully comprehend what they are saying (of course, if they never shut up, a different challenge presents itself. Call to discuss).
Easy? Not at all!
Even today, traditional training still teaches salespeople and business leaders to listen out for 'buying signals', the attack position, the weakness in argument; and this attitude never achieves true understanding.
One major bestselling book about negotiating mentions 'listening' just the once, and condescendingly that, it costs the reader nothing to do it. This kind of 'listening' requires no *empathy whatsoever and generally serves only to annoy your 'customer' ~ someone you need to fully comprehend to gain a mutually beneficial relationship.
When you are truly listening, you'll share someone's frustration and disappointment. You'll hear expressions like, "If only ..." "What's stopping me is ..." "The market isn't ..."One day I'll ..." "Our ultimate goal is ...".
Live this promise, "I promise never to offer any solution until WE have DISCOVERED a problem exists and AGREED s/he wants to do something about it".
On page 44 of Stephen R. Coveys excellent book, "The 8th Habit ~ Effectiveness To Greatness" he introduces the concept of 'The Talking Stick', which is worth a read.
If you want to attract a higher than average market share with your ideas (Google, 'Diffusion of Innovation'), teach yourself and everyone else in your business to truly listen.
To find out more, give me a call on 07900 251 258.
*empathy is the power of projecting one's personality into and fully comprehending the object of contemplation