Don't Wait To Speak ...
Learn To Listen!
You may already be an exponent of this essential communication skill, but in support of the accommodation of someone else's primary personality (see caption line above), THE most important inter-personal skill you will ever adopt is Listening!
Rate Your Listening Skills Against These Six Key-Indicators?
1. Appropriate Body Language ~ leaning towards someone with an open posture is a great beginning that shows interest and I don't mean crowding someone's personal space. Leaning away from them transmits the opposite, dis-interest. Watch couples when they wish to be intimate in a public place and you'll get the idea. Read Alan Pease excellent book, “Body Language”.
2. Keep Silent, Keep Out Of Sight ~ I don't mean you, but your techno-devices! When you place a mobile phone or a tablet in front of you, you convey that ‘it’ is more important than the person or persons you are with. Unless you're waiting for a call/text to mutual advantage, switch it to silent, put it out of sight and forget it!
3. No-one’s At Home ~ people who sit motionless with little or no expression on their faces are very, very difficult to communicate with. A gentle smile, an appropriate nod, a supporting hand movement when conversing says you're ‘at home’. You transmit confidence and invite correspondence.
4. Seek Feedback ~ “How many times do I have to tell you?” is said or thought by most of us from time to time. Well, the answer is very, very simple, “Until I understand!” Check for understanding of what you've been saying by asking, “Does that make sense?” followed by, “So, what are your thoughts about ...?”.
5. Shut Up ~ to stop talking is not the same as keeping 'schtum', which is being non-communicative. If you ask a question, it's respectful to wait for a reply which may take a moment or two when someone is considering a question for the first time. Check your understanding of their answer by paraphrasing what you think you've just heard followed by “Is that right?” Read 'The Talking Stick' chapter from Stephen R. Covey’s insightful book, “The 3rd Alternative”.
6. Never, Ever Give 'Advice' ~ the ignorant won't accept it and the wise don’t need it! The very best chat-show hosts have an enviable reputation for asking soft questions that 'pulls' their guest into the conversation. They rarely tell them anything, but simply help them to discover and agree the important things to talk about.
These acquired skills separate top communicators from those who just get by; earnings and interactive comfort multiply!
CALL John on 07900 251258 to arrange an introductory workshop.
Complicated is Easy! Simple is Hard!