What Is ... Discovery AGREEMENT?
So far in thread T4TW172 we've explored the 1st of 4 essential communication elements viz. RELATE (see above headings as a reminder) as well as the first part of the 2nd of 4 essential elements DISCOVERY. Today, we add the second word to Discovery, AGREEMENT.
Read on ...
Remember, DISCOVERY is that part of the Socratic questioning process that helps someone determine what's important to them. The AGREEMENT part allows them to confirm what they intend to do about it.
The process of DISCOVERY AGREEMENT may be used for any topic whatsoever, however, I shall use Estate Planning as an example.
Having established someone's Primary Personality (see above headings), you open with a Discovery Question, "What is your attitude towards your widow/er paying tax on your estate"? To which they reply, "What do you mean, attitude?"
Now you have to ask another Discovery question, "Will you want your widow/er to pay away some of your estates?" To which they reply, "Of course not!" [*]
Another Discovery question, "Why is that?" To which they reply, "I didn't build my home/business to give it away in tax!"
Another Discovery question, "What do you mean, "Give it away in tax"?" To which they reply, "We earned it! We keep it!"
Another Discovery question, "What if the taxman won't let your widow/er keep all of it?" To which they reply, "I wouldn't like that at all?"
You've now DISCOVERED a PROBLEM exists, it's time to test its importance by seeking the AGREEMENT to it.
You add an Agreement question, "How can it be avoided?" To which they reply, "I guess I could do some estate planning?"
Another Agreement question, "Is that what you want to do?" To which they tell you how important it is when they reply, "Yes, that's what I want to do!"
Never, ever tell someone what their problems are! They don't like it! Never offer a SOLUTION until someone is ready to explore options! The entire process of DISCOVERY allows someone to find out his or her problems for themselves. You told them nothing. Now is the time to AGREE with them that they are responsible for the resolutions.
Complete Promise To Yourself: "I promise never to offer any SOLUTION(S) to someone's PROBLEMS until they have DISCOVERED them for themselves and AGREED they WANT to resolve them!"
This is Discovery Agreement. Next week we shall look at ADVOCATE, the 3rd of the 4 essential elements within the overall process.
[*] should someone show no emotional attachment to a particular 'problem' there is little point in pursuing that one.
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