Why Does Personality Matter, Anyway?
When introducing this incredibly powerful material about establishing better work-related and home relationships, some students become over-anxious believing it is too simple to ‘box’ people as everybody is a complicated mix of all personality traits.
Whereas it is true clinical personality assessment is always complex, trying to accommodate billions of combinations of behaviour traits for better outcomes is a tad time-consuming and unnecessary in maintaining most productive daily relationships.
In order to get on better with more people, more often we need only learn the positives and negatives of our own primary personality AND the positives and negatives of the other three. With practice, we will recognise within the first 30-seconds of every new encounter each personality, provided we know what to look for.
How Are Personalities Recognised?
People give out clues about their behaviour all of the time. The easiest observation to make about someone is how they display (or don’t display) the way they are *feeling.
For example, ask yourself if you mostly guard your outward feelings or show them freely, especially with strangers. Think about how you respond to a puppy or a tear-jerker of a film and you’ll understand. A habitually cool or warm outward response to an inner feeling reveals the polarised ends of a readily observable emotiveness scale.
Next, ask yourself how you mostly get other people to do things; passing the salt for example. Do you tell them what you want or do you ask them for assistance? Habitually, telling or asking others reveals the polarised ends of a readily observable assertiveness scale.
You have now identified the four Primary Personalities of Cool/Teller or Cool/Asker; and Warm/Teller or Warm/Asker.
How Are Personalities Accommodated?
There are five critical considerations to effectively accommodate each personality:
1. Greeting them
2. Dressing for Success
3. Entering Their World
4. Use of their time, and
5. Arriving at Decisions
The Cool / Teller represent 10% of the tested population and they will not want you to be overly familiar. They respect convention and appropriate dress for an occasion. As they ‘own’ their space, you must wait to be invited to do almost everything within it, even to sit down. Sticking to the purpose of your visit will gain respect but they will want to make all the decisions.
The Cool / Asker represent 20% of the tested population and will want to be greeted in an almost detached manner. They expect formality. They want you to recognise their organisational skills. A working agenda will help keep you both on track. Decision making is never a take-it-or-leave-it matter but always a balance of probability.
The Warm / Teller represent 30% of the tested population and they will inevitably be late for every rendezvous. They respond well to casual. You should complement their achievements. Don’t worry about their use of time, as anything goes. Mutual decision making is agreeable once they have explored all the fun ideas, too.
The Warm / Asker represent 40% of the tested population and is the dominant primary personality group. You will have to remain open and friendly at every meeting. They will dress comfortably ~ even sloppily so, feel free to take off your jacket and relax. Their space will be den-like so be prepared for animals and hairs. You must strive to get to know them as a friend, first! Then, feel free to assume the responsibility for almost all decision making.
To explore more about recognising and accommodating the primary personalities for greater mutually beneficial outcomes, email firstname.lastname@example.org or call 0044 7900 251 258
* not to be confused with the latent range of human emotions of wellness, happiness, comfort, security, belonging.