15. Nov, 2018

Relating to Someone Just Like You ~ What could possibly Go Wrong?

If you’ve been pondering the past few BLOGs, you will have identified yourself predominantly as a:

  • COOL/TELLER
  • COOL/ASKER
  • WARM/TELLER
  • WARM/ASKER

Our Emotional & Financial Wellbeing

More relationships fail to start or end abruptly due to a clash of personalities than for any other reason. But it doesn’t have to be like that!

Each of us possesses predominant strengths as well as limitations that tend to emerge habitually in most situations and especially when we are relaxed (no need to behave differently) or when we are stressed (no time to behave differently)

Each of the four 'pure' personalities shares common traits with someone just like them. However, each has two neighbouring personalities with little in common, as well as a diametrically opposed personality with nothing in common at all.

The Three Encounters

There are three encounters which can impact positively or negatively on our emotional and financial wellbeing:

  1. The face2Face encounter ~ including private and small gatherings
  2. The group presentation ~ including small and large audiences, and
  3. The written word ~ including emails, letters, blogs and media

NOTE: This BLOG opens the first of several discussions for the next few weeks with....

The Face2Face Encounter

Remember, you predominantly possess ONE of the FOUR primary personalities. The next person you meet could be just like you!

Before anyone can effectively accommodate another personality, they need to recognise where that person is coming from, which has been the essence of recent BLOGs [refresh your understanding by re-reading them].

The COOL/TELLER encounters another COOL/TELLER (about 1-in-10 people)

  • Helpful traits in common: each will want to quickly get down to the purpose of the meeting.
  • Possible clashes: this is a Competitive relationship (psychologically: I must Win so you must Lose).
  • Accommodation: remain competitive but allow the other C/T to win more often by offering alternative positive solutions for them to make decisions.
  • For example: offering a take-it-or-leave-it choice has a 50/50 chance of succeeding. Offering alternatives that achieve the end result have a higher probability of success.

The COOL/ASKER encounters another COOL/ASKER (about 2-in-10 people)

  • Helpful traits in common: each will want to follow clearly defined procedures.
  • Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Compromise (psychologically: we will both Lose/Sacrifice something). Each believes there is no single solution to any particular problem, which can be costly in time and money.
  • Accommodation: explore all propositions and, when you need to disagree, do so agreeably.
  • For example: a procedure is raised that has flaws. Be prepared to offer remedial suggestions that build upon the original.

The WARM/TELLER encounters another WARM/TELLER (about 3-in-10 people)

  • Helpful traits in common: you’ll be having such a laugh you may forget why you got together in the first place.
  • Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Collaboration (psychologically: I Win but You can Win too). Joint winning can end up joint losing if the original goal has been mislaid.
  • Accommodation: seek for and use genuine compliment for the successes of the other. Have a clear objective in mind allowing the other W/T to feel centre-stage.
  • For example: have a laugh and a giggle around the things that need to be accomplished.

The WARM/ASKER encounters another WARM/ASKER (about 4-in10 people)

  • Helpful traits in common: each will start out wanting to become great friends with the other.
  • Possible clashes: this is a relationship of Capitulation (psychologically: I will Lose so You can Win). Each is self-sacrificing so this could turn into an, “After you”. “No, after you” situation.
  • Accommodation: accept a position of confidant and you will probably be expected to make almost all their decisions.
  • For example: be prepared to make even simple decisions for the other W/A

In the next few BLOGs, we will explore how each personality interacts with each of the other primary personalities.

To find out more, call John on 0044 7 900 251 258.