Use of Time & Decision Making
Last week we introduced Emo & Asser, the Tiveness twins. If we pay attention to those around us, we see:
Emotiveness meaning someone’s perceived attempt to control their feelings when dealing with you, and
Assertiveness meaning someone’s perceived attempt to control your thoughts and actions
When we lay Emotiveness as a horizontal axis and Assertiveness as a vertical axis, the FOUR Primary Personalities (PPs) are revealed, viz:
COOL/TELLER who is Lo in emotional display and Hi in assertiveness
WARM/TELLER who is Hi in both emotional display and assertiveness
WARM/ASKER who is Hi in emotional display and Lo in assertiveness, and
COOL/ASKER who is Lo in both emotional display and assertiveness
Obtaining Agreement to Act
When being asked to consider anything of importance, everyone requires satisfaction of two response mechanisms before they will act appropriately.
These two responses are:
- USING SOMEONE’S TIME ~ meaning not frustrating the way someone wants to progress toward action
- ASSISTING DECISION MAKING ~ meaning not frustrating someone’s final choice to act or not
Next week we shall explore Decision Making; today we shall explore Use of Time:
COOL/TELLERs ~ want their time used effectively so, you need to get to and stick to the purpose of your conversation/meeting quickly. C/Ts have high expectations of themselves and will project it on to you seeking evidence of your competence to deliver what they want.
WARM/TELLERs ~ want time to have a little fun so, don’t get down to the serious stuff too quickly. W/Ts have a zest for life and will expect you to feel it, too. You can expect them to deviate from the message, answer their mobile in the middle of your conversation, and arrive late for just about every get together.
WARM/ASKERs ~ need you to make friends first so, take enough time to find out about the people they care about i.e. family, friends and work colleagues. W/As feel life is for relaxing so find a comfy place to sit down, if you can. You may not even get around to the purpose of your conversation/meeting but, don’t worry, they’ll ask you back.
COOL/ASKERs ~ need you to use their time efficiently so, having a formal ~ even written ~ agenda to keep you both focused works with them. C/As think life has no single answer and is a balance of consequence. They will want to deliberate over any new information or topic you introduce. Expect the process to take several discussions/meetings.
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