Am I Doomed By My Own Personality?
(see title) What a great question! And, the answer is not if you don’t want to be.
Everyone's effective willingness to see the world from someone else’s personality perspective determines their relationship outcomes.
Such willingness to adapt requires conscious awareness of how different personalities want you to behave with them, together with your effective accommodation of where each is coming from. The net result is those who feel good in your company will intuitively co-respond to accommodate your personality, too (Win/Win).
RECAP ~ for more than 100-years, modern research into day-to-day behaviour supports the FOUR individual Primary Personalities that we at Unleash Everyone’s True Potential have termed COOL/TELLER (1-in-10); COOL/ASKER (2-in-10); WARM/TELLER (3-in-10); and, WARM/ASKER (4-in-10). (see meaning of colours below).
Though each Primary Personalities also has a back-up personality (for another paper), we know each displays either high or low EMOTIVENESS ~ meaning the perceived control of feelings ~ as well as either high or low ASSERTIVENESS ~ meaning the perceived control of other people.
Each personalities behaviour is deliberate
Each personality has a deliberate way of greeting people, each wants their time uses in a deliberate way, and each will make important decisions in a deliberate way.
and Maslow's Pyramid
The 20th century American psychologist Abraham Harold Maslow (1908-1970) is best known for creating the Hierarchy of Needs model to explain his theory of psychological maturity (PsM) based on satisfying sequential human needs to sustain BEST YOU.
Imagine a pyramid with 5 distinct levels ascending from the ground to the top. The lowest level covers the widest span suggesting the greatest need to be satisfied before one can rise sequentially through each level to the top. Something Maslow termed Self-actualization.
On the journey to the top level (5th) ~ Self-actualisation ~ the first four levels must be satisfied sequentially. When the fifth level is attained, you forget about your needs in favour of helping others satisfy their needs.
The 5-levels represent the following innate human needs:
- 1st or Foundation Level ~ survival. The air you breathe, body temperature, water to drink and food to eat, rising to
- 2nd Level ~ safety. To a wild animal this is a den. To you it can be paying the mortgage/rent, rising to
- 3rd Level ~ belonging. The feeling you are part of a relationship / community / tribe, rising to
- 4th Level ~ self-worth. The feeling you can give love unconditionally. And finally, Self-actualisation
- 5th or Top Level ~ being. When you are your BEST YOU and display genuine concern for these levels of need in others
So, what has this to do with Primary Personality?
Imagine laying the Primary Personalities grid flat on a surface. Now stand Maslow’s Pyramid (Hierarchy of Needs) on top of the grid so the base of the pyramid perfectly spans it.
Notice the lowest or foundation level need ~ survival ~ spans the entire grid. This is our innate fight or flight response. People stuck in the bottom two levels are 'fearful' and want to attack or run away, which can lead to a STRESS REACTION (see prior BLOGs). Such reaction is not uncommon when someone is faced with an unaware salesperson, or facing a job or career interview, or a training/examination event.
Notice also, as each level of need is satisfied, the personality grid the next level spans draws toward the center until the point of the pyramid sits directly over the cross-hairs of the four personalities. This effectively enables Role-Shifting through Self-Actualisation.
So, How Does Someone Achieve This Level Of PsM?
*we rise and fall through each level of the pyramid throughout our normal day depending on the satisfaction of the level in question. For example, if you ‘ve just woken up in a warm bed and enjoyed breakfast, you’ve satisfied the survival and safety levels. Not until you are hungry again will you drop to the foundation level rising up and down as your need to satisfy changes, situationally.
[the colours to each PP suggest the respective emotional response of each of the four Primary Personalities]