Becoming Your BEST YOU!
How you measure your progress of becoming will determine whether or not you achieve it!
Maybe you have been taught to set goals to improve your productivity. Task goals that are simple to define, easy to measure and do-able.
But do you also set goals that involve your becoming? Goals that focus on you. Goals that change you for the better. That improve recognition and accommodation of the four primary personalities. This becoming includes goals to be more disciplined, more patient with others ~ and yourself ~ dumping compulsive bad habits and becoming more like the worthy people you admire.
Doing all this can get complicated, because measuring personal growth is particularly challenging and may even take a lifetime. So, what can get in your way?
The Winning/Losing Dilemma
Perhaps the biggest problem to personal growth is that measuring progress can get us into a winning/losing mind-set ~ an off/on, yes/no, pass/fail predicament.
Too Much Losing
On the one hand a win/lose mind-set can make you feel you are succeeding only after you have fully obtained what you’re seeking. That until you entirely obtain your desired outcome, you are losing. And, if you feel like you’re losing a little every day, it’s not long before you quit trying altogether.
Too Much Winning
On the other hand, a win/lose mind-set can keep you from becoming as too much winning can make you feel enough is never enough!
Why Each Mind-set Can Get In Your Way
For nearly 4-decades, my coaching has centred on helping others reach their true potential in their career, in business endeavour, AND in their domestic lives. Most people I work with set: Simple, Measurable, Achievable, Reachable, Timebound goals just as the time-management manual presribes.
But, if S.M.A.R.T. goal works, why do as many as 80% fail to succeed? What do the other 20% do different?
The reason that goals per ce don’t work in isolation is that they foster the win/lose mind-set dilemma. This is so unless you set them in harmony and cooperation with the four life-skills of Emotional, Spiritual, Mental and Physical. Without this balanced approach, it feels like you are driving on a flat tyre ~ maybe more than one? When faced with the realisation that you are slowing down, you may be tempted to give up.
This logic applies to all becoming. If your goal is only to multiply your income, you may feel you are winning right up to the moment your spouse walks out on you.
A Better Way of Becoming
This singular win/lose mind-set, therefore, is essentially self-destructive. Let me be clear. I’m not saying don’t set goals. I am saying setting goals across all four life-skills as part of the greater dream is the surest way of becoming your best you. Rather than focusing solely on the outcome of S.M.A.R.T. goals limited to your work or business, pay attention to all four life-skills making every task count:
- Acknowledge the feelings of small daily becoming at work AND at home
- See every little set-back at work AND at home as becoming
- Be grateful at work AND at home for the opportunities of becoming
- Trust that as long as you are becoming across all four life-skills, your dream will become a reality
The Process for Progress
In your journey to become, try these tips to help you avoid getting caught in the winning/losing dilemma:
- If you know the kind of person you want to be, imagine a few daily habits you can engage in that will help you keep moving in that direction
- Invite some people you admire into your life who will hold you accountable by participating in your process of becoming.
- Review where you are right now and where you want to be, by asking yourself: “What single, small decision can I make right now to move forward in my process of becoming?”
- Remember, inch-by-inch it’s a synch! Yard-by-yard is hard!
- When you trip up, get up. Think about what led to the fall and what to change or modify to prevent it from happening again.
- Keep moving forward with persistency and determination.
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!