Primary Personality REVISITED ~ The Cool/Asker
“More relationships are damaged by a clash of personality than any other reason!”
Everyone possesses a Primary Personality (PP), which means most people do not behave as you do!
Over the next few weeks, we shall revisit PP and, if you recall, we use two observable dimensions to distinguish four populations:
- Emotiveness ~ we define as the perceived intent of someone to control their outward emotions when dealing with and though other people, and
- Assertiveness ~ we define as the perceived intent of someone to control the thoughts and actions of the people around them
To identify where someone falls on each dimension, ask yourself two simple questions about what you are seeing starting with Emotiveness ~ as this is usually the first visual clue:
Q1 “Is the person I see attempting to control or freely display their own emotions?”
In answer to this question we have two extremes: Cool meaning this person tends to keep their emotions to themselves; and, Warm meaning this person freely displays how they are feeling. (NB: we can explore ‘moderate’ perceptions if you email firstname.lastname@example.org).
Q2 “How is the person I see attempting to control what others are doing or thinking?”
In answer to this question we again have two extremes: Teller meaning this person tends to demand action; and, Asker, meaning this person tends to request action.
We have now identified the Four Primary Personality populations as:
- Cool/Tellers ~ represents c.10% of the tested population
- Cool/Askers ~ represents c.20% of the tested population
- Warm/Tellers ~ represents c.30% of the tested population
- Warm/Askers ~ represents c.40% of the tested population
This particular blog revisits the Cool/Asker (2-in-10 people) who is passive, meaning they prefer not to take the lead, or make outright decisions. They are task-orientated, meaning they put process ahead of the feelings of the people involved.
Words that describe the Cool/Asker include cautious, careful, contemplative, calculating, concerned and circumspect.
To indicate their low-assertive, low-emotional output, we shall use the colour green.
We can imagine this sign over their door:
KNOCK AND ENTER; PROVIDE DETAILED INSTRUCTION; SUPPLY TECHNICAL SUPPORT; ALLOW ADEQUATE RESOURCES; I FUNCTION ON DETAIL
Positives & Negatives ~ A Cool/Asker is conscientious. They do their homework. They are organised. They are cautious. They seek evidence. They are process driven. They are sequential thinkers.
They are careful. They receive apparent authority from protocol and correctness. They follow rules and regulations. They view excessive emotional display as suspicious. They are contemplative.
They are serious. They want detail. They conform. They don’t like to be found wanting. They remain emotionally detached. They comply with rules. They are sceptical.
They are consistent. They stick to tested pathways. They accept the mundane. They require quality assurance. They seldom admit being mistaken. They discover what doesn't work.
They air on the side of pessimism. They are loyal. They lack empathy. They view error as carelessness. They are judgemental. They are perfectionists.
They are melancholy. They are moody. They bear a grudge. They are matter of fact. They become critical when stressed.
Ideal Role ~ A Cool/Asker makes an efficient administrator, accountant and solicitor. They make capable inventors, philosophers and scientists. They make accomplished musicians and lecturers.
Greeting ~ A Cool/Askers greeting is detached; even aloof.
Dress ~ A Cool/Asker prefers to dress formally; conservative shirt and tie for men; sombre dress for women.
Environment ~ A Cool/Asker needs their environment to be clinical; possessing the right-tool-for-the-job, just like an operating theatre
Use of Time ~ A Cool/Asker needs their time to be used efficiently; to focus on the matter of fact with figures in support.
Decision Making ~ A Cool/Asker thinks there are no absolute answers to anything, only a balance of consequence. They want thorough exploration of each problem before examining possible solutions. They want detailed reasoning for each proposition.
About 2-in-10 of the tested population are Cool/Askers. They think life is a calculation. They hold their emotions in check. They rely on consistency and accuracy. They make the world a more precise place. You may perceive the Cool/Asker is thorough in the extreme or that you just don’t have the time to invest in them.
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!