Primary Personality REVISITED ~ The Warm/Asker
NB: Next week we shall overview a comparative summary of the four PPs.
“More relationships are damaged by a clash of personality than any other reason!”
Everyone possesses a Primary Personality (PP), which means most people do not behave as you do!
This paper revisits the last of the four PPs and, if you recall, we use two observable dimensions to distinguish four populations:
- Emotiveness ~ we define as the perceived intent of someone to control their outward emotions when dealing with and though other people, and
- Assertiveness ~ we define as the perceived intent of someone to control the thoughts and actions of the people around them
To identify where someone falls on each dimension, ask yourself two simple questions about what you are seeing starting with Emotiveness ~ as this is usually the first visual clue:
Q1 “Is the person I see attempting to control or freely display their own emotions?”
In answer to this question we have two extremes: Cool meaning this person tends to keep their emotions to themselves; and, Warm meaning this person freely displays how they are feeling. (NB: we can explore ‘moderate’ perceptions if you email firstname.lastname@example.org).
Q2 “How is the person I see attempting to control what others are doing or thinking?”
In answer to this question we again have two extremes: Teller meaning this person tends to demand action; and, Asker, meaning this person tends to request action.
We have now identified the Four Primary Personality populations as:
- Cool/Tellers ~ represents c.10% of the tested population
- Cool/Askers ~ represents c.20% of the tested population
- Warm/Tellers ~ represents c.30% of the tested population
- Warm/Askers ~ represents c.40% of the tested population
This particular blog revisits the Warm/Asker (4-in-10 people) who is passive, meaning they don’t take the lead, or make outright decisions. They are people-orientated, meaning they want to really get to know you before getting down to the task at hand.
Words that describe the Warm/Asker include supportive, stable, shy, steady, sentimental and social.
To indicate their low-assertive, high-emotional output, we shall use the colour orange.
We can imagine this sign over their door:
COME ON IN; SIT DOWN & RELAX; WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?; LET ME WORK AT MY OWN PACE; REASSURE ME
Positives & Negatives ~ A Warm/Asker is supportive. They want to do only one thing at a time. They expect mutual co-operation. They expect mutual understanding. They are likeable. They are pleasant.
They are sentimental. They are shy. They are submissive. They like to go where others know them. They like to specialise. They are easily offended. They need a safe environment.
They desire close, personal relationships. They care about people more than things. They are gullible. Their heart rules their head. They want reassurance. They want to please.
They are loyal. They are tactless. They sulk. They are easily duped. They are unforgiving. They are resentful. They bring calm. They like to help. They are diplomatic.
They like to be liked. They struggle with deadlines. They are inconsiderate. They put things off. They are compassionate. They are careless. They miss the obvious. They are trusting.
They like to feel comfortable. They move at a pedestrian pace. They are lazy. They are affectionate. They become spiteful when stressed.
Idea Role ~ A Warm/Asker makes a perceptive diplomat, researcher and detective. They make pleasant counter-staff, service representatives and secretaries. They make sensitive counsellors, doctors and nurses.
Greeting ~ A Warm/Asker greets cordially. They are tactile with a pleasing smile.
Dress ~ A Warm/Asker dresses for comfort, even sloppily.
Environment ~ A Warm/Asker likes their environment to be homely; their workplace can look more like a den.
Use of Time ~ A Warm/Asker likes to establish friendships before anything else.
Decision Making ~ A Warm/Asker genuinely want someone they trust to help make their decisions for them. Betray that trust, however, and it is almost impossible to restore it.
About 4-in-10 of the tested population are Warm/Askers. They feel life is for relaxing. They are the salt of the earth. They give unconditionally, until they feel let down. They make the world a more harmonious place. You may perceive a Warm/Asker makes a good soulmate or that you might doze-off in their company.
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!