Patience Is A Virtue ~ Stress Reactions of The Four Primary Personalities: PHASE 1
No one gets your goat (irritates you) if they don’t know where it’s tethered!
Have you noticed some things tend to annoy you? Things decent people just should not do or say. Things you ask over and over for someone to stop or start doing.
Consenting to being annoyed is tantamount to allowing someone to drop a great big rock in your pond. You are triggered by someone and both of you are the losers because the outcome is definitely other than mutually beneficial ~ Lose/Lose!
The problem nowadays is that people seem less patient than
were our forefathers. They tend to blame everyone else accept themselves for being triggered. They forget or do not accept that becoming triggered requires personal consent.
As the Greek philosopher Epictetus said, we are complicit in the offenses we take. Our temper is ours to lose ~ no one can take it from us and certainly no one can make us lose it.
Each of us will enjoy more successful relationships and happiness managing our patience than exhausting our lives trying to change other people. The former is sanity, the latter pure insanity.
Which Will You Choose?
You can learn to manage someone else’s lack of consideration by learning to manage your own. And that demands good, old fashioned patience, which may be defined as, the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, problems, or suffering without becoming annoyed or anxious [emphasis added].
As Marcus Aurelius put it, what matters ... is to revert back to the training that you know and understand that you’re a human being.
And, UETPs training is: COOL? or WARM? TELL? or ASK?
Our goal is to train you not to pull your own or anyone elses trigger. So, how do each of the four Primary Personalities respond when they are triggered? Each PP has four stress levels, but in the first instance, each becomes more of what they are:
- The COOL/TELLER becomes cooler and more assertive ~ dictatorial.
- The WARM/TELLER becomes warmer and more assertive ~ insulting ~ verbally or physically.
- The COOL/ASKER becomes cooler and less assertive ~ critical.
- The WARM/ASKER becomes warmer and less assertive ~ spiteful.
Next week we shall explore how to defuse each stressful response.
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!