PHASE 2: Defusing Stress Reactions: High Assertive
Excess Stress is manifest when someone re-acts ~ rather than thinks and acts appropriately ~ to a perceived physical, intellectual, or emotional threat.
In other words, they lose their normal composure.
Recap ~ As mentioned repeatedly throughout our PP BLOG, research reveals most relationships are damaged by a clash of personality rather than any other reason. This outcome can be emotionally and/or financially costly in business, at work, at home. and in social situations.
UETPs interpersonal skills awareness coaching aims to avoid stressful outcomes by positively engaging the primary personality traits of the: COOL/TELLER; WARM/TELLER; COOL/ASKER; and WARM/ASKER.
In doing so, the possibility of annoying someone unintentionally is dramatically reduced. But what if you do get it wrong?
Stress Reactions (also see BLOG 27th August)
The COOL/TELLER ~ when stressed becomes more of what they are. Increased emotional control coupled with increased assertiveness equals a dictator who may typically say something like, “Close the door quietly on your way out.” “This conversation is over.”
So, what could you do?
Arguing, even when in the right, is unlikely to curry favour with a C/T in stress. Better, you offer a sincere apology for any misunderstanding and ask what you said or did that they found offensive.
Of course, someone in dictatorial mode may need a while to regain their composure. Suggesting a break might prove advantageous. If not acceptable, remain composed and suggest a follow-up at a later date.
Remember, C/Ts are results driven. Calmly remind them of the agreed beneficial outcome.
The WARM/TELLER ~ when stressed becomes more of what they are. Even less emotionally controlled coupled with increased assertiveness equals insulting who may typically say something like, “Who do you think you are talking to?” “Get out, now.”
Unlike the C/T, the W/T is likely to raise their voice and may even use the vernacular.
So, what could you do?
Standing up (if seated) may even provoke a physical response. Better you remain seated or sit down quietly and count to twenty ~ slowly. Then, apologise for any misunderstanding asking how you could make-amends.
Of course, someone in insult mode might say a few nasty things. Whatever they say, do not react. Let them get it off their chest.
Remember, W/Ts are fun-loving. Suggest something you can do together.
Next week we shall explore defusing the Low-Assertive stress reactions.
To explore this paper, text 0044 7900 251258 or email firstname.lastname@example.org