I’m OK, You’re OK or No Deal …
… means maintaining a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutually beneficial outcomes in all human interactions, or agreeing to disagree, agreeably.
First introduced to “I'm OK – You're OK” in the early 1980s whilst a fledgling salesman for a major life assurance company, the book sparked a lifelong interest in learning how to get along with more people, more often than not. To attain a mutually beneficial outcome as often as possible or agree to disagree, agreeably (see opening definition). Such outcomes only enhance emotional and financial wellbeing in families and in a chosen career ~ as it did in mine.
Thomas Harris’s 1967 masterpiece is still in demand as it introduces to the general public the subject of transactional analysis demonstrating how to recognise the Parent-Adult-Child postures people assume in daily social interactions, and how such self-awareness allows us to become more discerning, rational, and empowered human beings.
Harris defines four postures:
- I’m Not OK, You’re OK = for example a child during its vulnerable years is dependent on its parents looking to Mum and Dad for everything
- I’m Not OK, You’re Not OK = for example the youth during their know-it-all years is counter-dependent. A little knowledge is confusing when mishandled
- I’m OK, You’re Not OK = in the misbelief that to be independent is the true goal for success, Western educators emphasise stand alone and carry on regardless. Such an existence is OK if your desire is to be a goat-farmer up a mountain or a mad scientist in the bowels of a castle a la Mary Shelley’s 1818 Frankenstein
- I’m OK, You’re OK = is the highest form of mutually beneficial outcome. It means each party strives for synergy meaning the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects
What Has All This Got To Do With Our Coaching?
Over the past 4-decades, UETP has brought together synergistic works in the field of the behaviour sciences that fuelled the simplification of the social styles we define as: COOL/TELLER; WARM/TELLER; COOL/ASKER; and, WARM/ASKER.
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!