Do The Words You Use Confuse? ~ or, avoiding social blunders!
“Think twice before you speak, because your words … will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind.” Napoleon Hill [hall of fame inspirational author and coach].
Sarcasm is meant to mock or annoy and, if we are not very careful, will unintentionally enter our everyday conversations placing relationships in harms way.
From an early age, every child is wired with non-verbal and verbal habits learned from primary influencers including parents, older siblings and influencial adults. Non-verbal habits form our body-language whilst verbal habits include words, phrases and voice-tones that are unhelpful in adult life.
Think of inappropriately apologising to someone for failing to get back to them when you said you would. What could have been a recoverable situation is forever lost!
The following short-list of common English phrases uttered without explanation all too often are perceived as offensive. Ask yourself how many times you have heard them said to you, and how they made you feel. Also ask yourself, do I say them without thinking.
I’ve been busy ~ is a thoughtless response from too many businesses, professionals, and even government departments. Without the offer of an explanation, these three simple words transmit that you are not important. To negate that feeling, an explanation must always be forthcoming. For example, … busy working to complete your order/report; busy sorting out mother-in-law’s funeral; busy preparing a surprise birthday for my partner.
What about … I have no interest ~ without adding, … as it doesn’t help me achieve my immediate needs; because my real interest is …; as my health/age /circumstance would not permit me to do it.
Have you ever heard yourself say ... Yes, or Fine (stating the person’s first name with sarcastic emphasis) ~ using a person’s first name in this manner comes across as condescending so, drop the name ~ especially within the written word ~ and replace it with, … OK; that sounds good; but I can’t get my head round …; but can you explain …?
The next phrase is too often a broken promise … I’ll get back to you ~ without adding, … as soon as I get back to the office; at 6 o’clock tonight; Saturday morning (entering a reminder in your phone or an entry in your planner).
Have you ever nonchalantly replied … Interesting ~ without adding, … I didn’t know that; I hadn’t really thought about it that way before; how did you find that out?
When you just do not understand … What are you talking about? ~ try adding, … could you explain further; I didn’t know that.
With sarcasm in mind, have you said … Yeah, right! ~ without adding, … I see; I don’t see; so what you mean is; what happened?
In exasperation, have you heard yourself saying …You can’t do that! ~ try adding, … can you; show me how; will it work that way; how did you learn to do that?
When feeling put down … I feel insulted ~ adding, ... well not insulted exactly; I should have known better; of course, I can do that.
And finally, … Trust Me ~ adding a bit of humour, … I’m a Doctor; what I’ve found is; did you know ...?
In addition to our BEST YOU series, there are many legendary masters of communication skills out there including: Napoleon Hill; Norman Vincent Peale; Shad Helmstetter; Charles Capps; Stephen R. Covey; and, Simon Sinek.
To explore this paper, or arrange your Q1 inter-personal skills workshop, email firstname.lastname@example.org
Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!