1. Apr, 2021

Part 4 ~ OK, You’ve Spotted The Primary Personalities ~ COOL/TELLER

(continued from 25th March 2021)

RECAP: Primary Personality (PP) is a combination of two observable behavioural dimensions: Emotiveness; and, Assertiveness. Depending where you are on each dimension ~ HIGH or LOW ~ you will display the predominant traits of the COOL/TELLER; the WARM/TELLER; the COOL/ASKER; or, the WARM/ASKER.

OVER THE LAST 3-WEEKS, we have been learning to recognise each PP by paying attention to someone’s: conversation; how they dress; their preferred environment; how they want time used, and how they make decisions.

THIS WEEK, we shall consider how each PP must role-shift to effectively accommodate the COOL/TELLER. Over the course of the next three weeks, we shall explore the relationship between the other PPs.

Accommodation

If you are a COOL/TELLER meeting someone you have profiled as a COOL/TELLER ~ each of you share the common traits of LOW Emotiveness with HIGH Assertiveness. Be aware you both want to win, to COMPETE. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, you must restrain your natural competitiveness. You don’t have to worry about sticking to the point. But, when decisions need to be made, YOU must allow them to feel THEY are making them. This is accomplished by presenting at least two options, any of which secures the desired outcome.

If you are a WARM/TELLER meeting a COOL/TELLER ~ each of you share HIGH Assertiveness, but not the same Emotiveness; YOU are HIGH, THEY are LOW. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, you must restrain your natural sense of fun. Hold back your need for a COLLABORATIVE relationship by staying on track, always seeking what THEY think about things. Keep your questions focused. Listen intently. THEY do not accept superficiality. THEY want to make the decisions. YOU will need to offer positive options.

If you are a COOL/ASKER meeting a COOL/TELLER ~ each of you share LOW Emotiveness, but not the same Assertiveness. YOU are LOW, THEY are HIGH. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, you must restrain your natural tendency to go deep into facts and figures. YOU believe there are no absolute solutions. THEY believe THEY are the solution. So, focus on the end RESULTS without COMPROMISE.

If you are a WARM/ASKER meeting a COOL/TELLER ~ you will have little/nothing in common. Whereas you are HIGH in Emotiveness, THEY are LOW. Whereas YOU are LOW in Assertiveness, THEY are HIGH. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, you must restrain your natural tendency to want reassuring on everything. This will be your hardest relationship challenge as you may feel like CAPITULATING. But never fear, you can overcome. THEY want to be the boss and you don’t, so follow their lead. Be prepared to disagree, agreeably by stating your point of view. YOU will not offend them, and THEY will appreciate your candour.

To explore this paper, or arrange your interpersonal skills workshop email info@uetp.co.uk

NEXT WEEK … when we explore the tactics for accommodating the WARM/ASKER.

Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!