29. Apr, 2021

What the Heck is Emotional Maturity?

Over the past few weeks, you’ve been exploring some of the day-to-day, observable traits of your own Primary Personality (PP), how you accommodate others just like you, and how to role-shift to others not like you [tailored PP strategies may be obtained on request].

You’ve learned the more you get it right, the more you see your relationships blossom, and your income multiply. Get it wrong, well, you go figure!

This week, we add a third dimension: Maturity meaning your ability to stay in control of your stress response, when others are losing control of their own!

At UETP we’ve worked for decades to simplify psycho-babble. This is why our strap line reads: Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!

This paper introduces how to maintain your emotional maturity when others around you are squaring up for a fight, or running away. Think of any recent altercation that you regretted.

Introducing: Act<Think<Feel<Values

These four headings are either your friends or your enemies depending on how you master them. When encountering a stressful situation, you must choose a positive or negative response. Let’s introduce each in reverse order of application:

(4th) Act ~ when dealing with a stressful situation, you have the choice to Re-Act or Act. When a matter of life and limb is at stake, Re-Acting is a survival instinct; imagine, for example, a car coming out of nowhere as you are crossing a road. The difference between a life-saving Re-Action, and Considered Action is conscious thinking. When you Re-Act, you disengage the brain. When you Act, you engage the brain. In most social interactions, the latter option is preferable …

(3rd) Think ~ when you train yourself to keep Thinking, you remove the likelihood of a negative Re-Action. You way-up external stimulus ~ positive or negative ~ and consciously choose to remain in control of your Actions. Think of it this way; when someone is being contentious with you, they are attempting to provoke a stress Re-Action to justify their own poor behaviour. When you choose to keep thinking, you insulate yourself from their emotionally immature behaviour …

(2nd) Feel ~ your feelings took root in the past and manifests as habit. Good one’s can be improved. Poor one’s can be changed. You developed your first habits as a child when experiencing events for the first time. For example, a child who learns to get its own way through temper tantrum, may hang on to that poor habit without learning to Think about what they are doing, and the effect they are having on others. As an adult, they Re-Act under familiar stress stimulus, rather than Feel, Think, and appropriately Act. So, where do habitual feelings stem from?

(1st) Values ~ are core motivators of rightness and wrongness. When young we learn from primary influencers ~ mum, dad, older siblings and other children, and teachers. As an adult, we hold on to what we instinctively learned of rightness and wrongness, or we can learn to change poor values for a better emotional outcome.

In Summary

What we Value today, determines how we feel about circumstances. What we Feel today, determines what we deliberately think in those circumstances. And, what we Think today, determines whether we will Act Maturely.

To explore this paper or arrange your workshop, email info@uetp.co.uk

NEXT WEEK WE WILL BEGIN TO EXPLORE HOW TO RECOGNISE AND MATURELY RESPOND TO IMMATURE EMOTIONAL RESPONSES.

Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!