Why Give Your Consent To Be Annoyed??
Born a slave in Turkey nearly 2000 years ago (50AD), Epictetus became a Greek philosopher, and lived in Rome until his banishment to Greece where he died at the astonishing age of 85.
He wrote, it’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. And, men are disturbed not by things, but by the view which they take of them.
What tosh, I hear some of you thinking. If someone is angry with me, I’ll give them a piece of my mind. If they cut me up in traffic, I’ll question their sex and ancestry. If they let me down, it will take a while before I forgive them ~ etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.
Well, what I’ve just described is certainly one way to respond. As you ponder this paper, keep the following sentiment in mind: you consent to how you respond to everything!
For the past few weeks, we have been exploring Emotional Maturity ~ which includes Emotional Immaturity ~ and how each of the four Primary Personalities typically respond to stress. At the mature end of that scale, each remains the master of their own soul by seeking first to understand every situation before offering their own encouraging contribution. At the immature end of that scale, each consents to someone else becoming their task-master by engaging contention.
Have you ever heard the saying, no one can get your goat if they don’t know where it is tethered!?
The expression, “getting your goat” is thought to have originated from horse racing when a goat was stalled with a highly-strung thoroughbred the night before the race to calm it down. Unscrupulous opponents would steal the goat in an effort to upset the horse, causing it to run badly. When you consent to someone elses negative view of you or what you have said or done, you allow them to find your goat!
So, the next time you feel someone says or does something to offend you, YOU MUST CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE. You may become autocratic, angry, withdrawn or petulant. Or, you can choose to sincerely listen to understand the other persons perceptions or paradigms. You can keep shooting holes in that relationship, or you can truly strive to patch things up, and make it stronger.
The last word by Marcus Aurelius [121-180AD], Life is what our thoughts make of it! [Also see, Old Testament Proverbs 23:7]
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Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!