12. Oct, 2016

Are You Killing Your Confidence?

The feeling of self-confidence makes a massive difference to our personal well-being within our professional, social and personal lives. 

Most of us have heard of some tip or two to help increase confidence, but it’s equally important to make sure we’re not unwittingly undermining our confidence too.

5 Habits That Kill Confidence (and how to avoid them)

1. Seeking Approval From Everyone ~ truly confident people never set out to win everyone around. They understand that disagreement is inevitable from time to time and seek a win/win or no deal outcome. Rather than sweating the small stuff, they always treat others with genuine respect, remaining dispassionate in any argument and willing to disagree, agreeably as the outcome dictatesThose who give in to their emotions invariably feel victimised and are heard a mile away as they raise their voice. Staying true to your values keeps you calm. 

2. Focusing More On Problems Than Solutions ~ mankind is a problem-solving animal! That's why we don't work for lesser life-forms. Too many people live 'if only' lives; if only I'd done this or if only I'd not done that. Whether small, medium-sized or large, life has a tendency to throw problems at us and we choose to be part of that problem or part of the solution. Confident people accept their mistakes and live 'next time' lives. They learn, forgive, let go and move on. Depression is living too much in the past! 

3. Being A Drama Lama ~ most people like to watch a little media drama from time to time. That's why the world has so many actors who are paid to deceive (think about it)! They portray fictional characters living high and fast without anyone ever getting hurt, even when they are cut in half with a lightsaber. Some people get so caught up in fictional events they become what they most often watch. This is why soap operas are to be avoided! Be careful what you let into your head; the world is full of vain imaginings. Instead of getting angry, get curious. Instead of getting annoyed, be amused. Replace envy with admiration. Don’t get caught up in negativity! 

4. Seeing Failure As Who You Are Becoming successful and unsuccessful people respond to 'failing' very differently! Whilst one understands failing is part of getting something right, the other believes failing is a character flaw. They see 'failing' as a measure of their worth. They think that when they fail at something, it means they are a “failure” in life and stop trying. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent (Calvin Coolidge).

5. Hiding From Life Experience ~ it’s easy to keep doing the same things over and over expecting a different result. Same route home to work. Same route work to home. Feet up. Game show. TV supper. Saturday gym. Sunday lay-in. Another week passes by. This may feel 'comfortable' at the time, but it's probably killing your confidence. In nature, nothing stands still for long. If it's not growing, it's dying! Go out and explore. Meet people. Travel more. Do something that scares you a little every day. Stay stimulated, even excited if you can stand it.

Confidence may be defined as "the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something"

If you don't guard against confidence killers every-single-day, you may find you have lost it!