19. Oct, 2018

The Glue To All Positive Relationships

Every relationship succeeds or fails because of the personalities of the people involved.

Failing to recognize and accommodate similarities as well as differences in behaviour can get in the way of mutual understanding!

For the past few weeks, we’ve been considering how your personality trait compliments or interferes with your relationships. This week’s BLOG looks at some of the background to this empowering subject.

Read on …

All family and most work success is accomplished with and through other people; those daily interactions that help us get along, and get things done.

In his excellent book, ‘The 8th Habit, From Effectiveness to Greatness’ the late Stephen R. Covey states, “Even when intentions are honourable and communication is clear, without trust in a relationship, people look for the unspoken message or hidden agenda; it’s like tip-toeing through a minefield”. [Underline added]

More opportunity is lost due to a clash of personality, which is at THE centre of every poor relationship.

The Glue to Relationships

Greater productivity is the inevitable outcome when you know how to consciously recognize how someone wants to be related to. This is true at home, at work, in business, and in your career.

When someone ‘feels’ their HOW is genuinely understood, they will intuitively invite opportunity into their life, career, business and family through the people they perceive as understanding them best.

Such relationships are established - or not – within the first few moments of every new encounter. With trust secured, every unintentional error is genuinely forgiven as someone responds, “Don’t worry, I understand”.

  • Technology will never achieve this; hi-tech can never replace high-touch!

Aminals and People

When observing the animal world no one has to be an expert to recognize a lion, a wolf, a lamb, and an owl behave differently one from another. Though most people respect how they approach certain types of animals, few give any consideration as to how they approach certain types of people and, you will never get a second chance to make a first impression!

What is Personality?

*Personality may be defined as, “a combination of characteristics that form our distinctive behaviour”, and research reveals everyone is more or less ‘wired’ by their 5th birthday.

Each of us possesses two observable characteristics that overlay at right-angle to produce primary personality. They are emotiveness meaning the extent to which we control how we display our feelings; and, assertiveness meaning the extent to which we control the thoughts and actions of other people.

When these two characteristics combine four primary personalities emerge:

  • The COOL/TELLER who is predominantly Demanding, Direct and Decisive
  • The WARM/TELLER who is predominantly Interactive, Inspirational and Impressive
  • The COOL/ASKER who is predominantly Cautious, Contemplative and Calculating
  • The WARM/ASKER who is predominantly Supportive, Social and Steady

Click each heading at the top of this page for the thinking of someone who has just met with each of the personalities, and to explore more on this empowering subject, email john@uetp.co.uk or call 0044 7900 251258.

 *clinical evaluation of abnormal personality is beyond the scope of this article