PHASE 2: Defusing Stress Reactions ~ Low Assertive
Last week we reviewed defusing the stress reactions of the High Assertive Primary Personalities. This week we review defusing the stress reactions of the Low Assertive PPs.
RECAP ~ Excess Stress is manifest when someone re-acts ~ rather than thinks and acts appropriately ~ to a perceived physical, intellectual, or emotional threat. In other words, they lose their normal composure.
As mentioned throughout our PP BLOG, research reveals most relationships are damaged by a clash of personality rather than any other reason. This outcome can be emotionally and/or financially costly in business, at work, at home. and in social situations.
UETP interpersonal skills awareness coaching aims to avoid stressful outcomes by positively engaging the primary personality traits of the: COOL/TELLER; WARM/TELLER; COOL/ASKER; and WARM/ASKER.
In doing so, the possibility of annoying someone unintentionally is dramatically reduced. But what if you do get it wrong?
Stress Reactions (also see BLOG 27th August)
The COOL/ASKER ~ when stressed becomes more of what they are. Increased emotional control coupled with decreased assertiveness equals critical who may typically say something like, “I cannot be expected to make an informed decision without the facts?” “May I suggest you research your subject a little more.”
So, what could you do?
Stumbling along in error is unlikely to convince a C/A in stress that you are a dependable re/source. Better, you ask what you have specifically misunderstood and what they specifically need. Agrranging to return with additional data will impress the C/A. But, make sure you do it!
Of course, someone in critical mode may use abstract or unrelated questioning to distract the cause of their stress ~ you. Recognising this smoke-screen and suggesting a recess to allow for individual thinking time may prove agreeable.
Remember, C/As need the facts & figures. If you do not have them to hand and cannot obtain them whilst together, jointly write down a list of what is required and go and do more research.
The WARM/ASKER ~ when stressed becomes more of what they are. Even less emotionally controlled coupled with decreased assertiveness equals spiteful and may typically say nothing at all whilst thinking of ways they can get back at you. They may even become tearful!
So, what could you do?
Telling them to snap out of it will only exacerbate the situation. Better you pay closer attention to them asking what you said or did that upset them. A hug or an arm round the shoulder may help (this is a big price for the COOL/TELLER to pay but pay it you must!).
Of course, someone in spiteful mode may be plotting their revenge. Offer sincere reassurance that you are truly on their side, and suggest making a cup of tea.
Remember, W/As need constant support. Suggesting something you can do together with those who are important to them is a social way of defusing their stress.
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