“Would you believe the arrogance of that man/woman?“
Arrogance, all too often, is a trait in the eye of the beholder.
When people accuse others of being arrogant, they do not consider there are several ‘types‘ of that condition. For the purpose of this paper, we shall identify two: actual and projected.
Actual Arrogance is readily observable. It is when someone intentionally looks down on someone they perceive as inferior in background, confidence, skill or knowledge. They take perverse pleasure in mocking or belittling them, especially in the company of others. In short, they are said to ‘crow‘.
Projected Arrogance is more common than actual arrogance and rarely accepted by the individual in possession of it. It manifests when someone projects their own failings on to others they perceive as possessing greater confidence, skills or knowledge than themselves. They use this defence tactic to justify their own feelings of insecurity. In short, they play a 'blame game'.
The following describes some of the major traits of those who project their own arrogance and is intended as a protection against it:
1. Projected Arrogance ~ contribute their own weaknesses as someone else‘s fault. They project their own fears, limiting beliefs, and toxic thinking seeking reassurance by blaming another
2. Projected Arrogance ~ whilst genuine humility speaks a quiet truth, projected arrogance manipulates people and situations to reinforce itself. Those who engage in gossip, angry outbursts, resentment and feelings of being offended, display arrogance not humility
3. Projected Arrogance ~ behaves pridefully towards those they accuse of possessing it. Such pride manifests as defiance supposing it is in the right. It is unsympathetic, close-minded and vexatious
4. Projected Arrogance ~ attempts to mask its own insecurity. It strives to conceal doubt and feelings of inadequacy that can have a significant detrimental effect on one‘s purpose in life. Prolonged feelings of insecurity are clinically linked to depression, anxiety, paranoia, addiction and dependency
Truly Confident People Are Not Arrogant
- are proactive and continue positively towards the end in mind
- decide quickly and think win/win for all involved
- listen to others seeking first to understand, then to be understood
- do not take offence: when in disagreement, they do so agreeably
- speak with quiet authority because they know what is real
- celebrate the success and achievement of others
- focus on their own strengths, working to the strengths of others
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