15. Apr, 2021

Part 6 ~ If You Want A Friend ~ Accommodating The COOL/ASKER

(continued from 8th April 2021)

RECAP:We are learning that each of the FOUR Primary Personalities display predominant behaviour traits. Each tends to greet people differently; dress differently; has a preferred environment; will use time differently, and arrive at decisions differently. Last week we accommodated ~ role-shift ~ the WARM/TELLER.

THIS WEEK, we effectively accommodate the COOL/ASKER.


If you are a COOL/ASKER meeting someone you have profiled as another COOL/ASKER ~ you both share LOW Emotiveness with LOW Assertiveness. Accuracy and correctness is important to you both so you will feel comfortable together, which could be a problem. As data analysis drives your relationships, you can get bogged down in detail. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, it is up to you to manage your joint natural tendencies to focus on deep detail. Each of you believes absolute solutions are not likely, or are exceptional. COMPROMISE is acceptable as you both make decisions based on a balance of consequence.

If you are a COOL/TELLER meeting a COOL/ASKER ~ you share LOW Emotiveness, but not the same Assertiveness. Whereas YOU are HIGH; THEY are LOW. Though you are both task-driven, it is from different perspectives. YOU are competitive. THEY will not COMPETE. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, restrain your natural tendency to want to control every situation.  Though results are important to YOU, process is important to THEM. Asking well-conceived, searching questions will support this new relationship. THEY make decisions based on possible problems that can get in the way. Allow extra time for THEM to investigate, to search, to be thorough. THEY will probably need several conversations, and meetings to engage with YOU.

If you are a WARM/TELLER meeting a COOL/ASKER ~ you have little/nothing in common. THEY are the antithesis of YOU. Whereas YOU are HIGH Emotiveness, THEY are LOW. Whereas YOU are HIGH Assertiveness,THEY are LOW. This will be your hardest relationship challenge.  As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, you need to overcome your natural desire to treat the world as a stage. Though YOU don’t care for deep detail, THEY do. Do not give in to avoidable interruption or distraction whilst in their company. If your mobile rings, turn it off with an apology to THEM. If another person wants your attention, politely say you will be with them in a while. YOU make decisions based on who is having fun. THEY make decisions based on evidence presented. Allow THEM to keep THEIR considerations open. And, however irksome to YOU, be prepared to COMPROMISE.

If you are a WARM/ASKER meeting a COOL/ASKER ~ each of you share LOW Assertiveness, but not the same Emotiveness. Whereas YOU are HIGH, THEY are LOW. YOU are a people-person. THEY are a task-person. Whereas YOU want the reassurance of real friendships, THEY want analytical relationships. As you are now becoming a trained practitioner, curb your natural inclination to become a Buddy or a Pal. Resist your tendency to CAPITULATE if things are not going your way. THEY are serious. THEY are cautious. THEY are careful. So, allow time for THEM to explore all options with YOU.

To explore this paper, or arrange your interpersonal skills workshop email info@uetp.co.uk

WE SHALL CONCLUDE ROLE-SHIFTING NEXT WEEK … when we explore the tactics for accommodating the WARM/ASKER.

Complicated IS Easy! Simple IS Hard!